Always
by CastleFanFic
Summary: He's leaving after Frozen Heat. Will Beckett finally make her move or will she let him go? This story happens before '47 seconds' and it does have some Season 4 spoilers.
1. Bad news

**This is my very first fanfic. **

**English is not my first language but I tried my best. It's kinda odd to write in another language because it's a whole new way to think and to write. It's fun though. And the prepositions, sorry... I do suck at them. **

**Reviews really help me, some already did, good or bad. **

**Enjoy your reading and feel free to review. :)**

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><p>Castle needed a break. He just didn't know how to tell Beckett so. He didn't want her to think that he wasn't coming back or anything, but… well, that's exactly what Gina wanted. He wished he had a motive to come back to but he didn't. He had reached to the most difficult book he has to write: Nikki Heat's <em>last<em> book.

He isn't a cop; his job doesn't involve almost dying every now and then, and seeing Sophia dying like that changed things for him. He couldn't stand to watch Beckett die and he knows that she's taken care of with him by her side, but what would happen if he went away? Alexis always reminded him that he wasn't a cop. No, he is not a cop.

_"So, how the hell am I going to break Beckett the news?" _he thought with himself.

It's been months since her shooting and never happened between the both of them. It's been almost a year actually. Despite their new proximity, intimacy, they're not teasing each other anymore like before. Something's changed for both of them. What to do then?

Beckett's mind was elsewhere when Castle came and sat on his chair next to her desk. She was wondering what if Castle had drowned because he was shadowing her, because he loved her and wouldn't let her sank to save himself. She was so worried about him all the time that it was interfering with her job although he _might_ had saved her life so many times that she felt safer to do her job by his side.

_She_ was the cop, she should offer him that kind of feeling, not the other way around. She's not ready to give him up even if it costs his life, she can't stand to lose him yet, not like this, not without having him another way. It took her a while before she realized he was sitting next to her.

"Beckett" he began "I'd like to talk to you"

"Aren't you already?" she replied trying to not deliver full attention to him.

"I really need to talk to you, in private" he said almost whispering.

"Come on, Castle, the _'if I show you mine and you show me yours'_ thing won't work with me."

She smiled and looked at him waiting for him to laugh. She loves his laugh. He looked serious.

"What's wrong?" She asked, looking forward to anything but what he really said.

"I need some time off."

He finally said. She tried to breathe... "Sure, take the day off".

He closed his eyes. "Can we talk_ in private_, please?" avoiding Esposito and Ryan to hear him out and ask questions before he could talk to her.

"How much time do you need, Castle?" She tried, afraid of what could come from the private talk.

"Come with me, Beckett, please" and he headed to the interrogation room.

She followed him.

Her steps were so heavy and her heart was having so much trouble beating that she thought she would faint. His steps were the most difficult for him to walk in his entire life. How could he say that to her? He didn't want to, but he had no other option.

As they walked in there, Beckett asked him once again "How much time do you need, Castle?" expecting an encouraging answer.

"I need some time" he answered.

"Yes, I know that part, I'm asking how long you will be _gone_" impatient, she asked again.

He took a deep breath, "I must write Nikki Heat's fourth book, so I don't think I can say how much long it will take."

"_Jeez, Castle_! Couldn't you say it already? A month or two? The _whole_ summer again? Give me an estimative!"

She wanted him to spill the truth out right away, she knew from his tone it wasn't good.

"It's Nikki Heat's final book, Kate" he gave up and said it.

"What do you mean? Why?" she snapped.

"We both knew this was temporarily, I'm not a cop, I'm a writer, I must write..." his voice was fading.

He tried to start explaining, but she cut him off, "You're not a _cop_? Where the hell that came from?". She knew from where: she told him that innumerous times but just to tease him. "_You're my partner_!" she almost begged.

He started, "I know I've been your partner for the last 4 years…"

And she interrupted him again, "4 years is not _temporarily_, Castle! 4 days, 4 weeks, even 4 months but_ not 4 years_!"

She was in pain, he could see that. He caused it.

"You know what? Go. Don't come back, Castle. You're most definitely not a cop." And she left him without hearing him out.

Esposito and Ryan went to the observation room to see what was going on, and first they didn't want to turn on the microphones in the interrogation room, but as Beckett lost control they thought they should know what that was all about. They were shocked.

A few moments later she came back in the room where Castle was.

"_Why_, Castle? I need to know _why_!" She was mad.

He started to answer "I… " but she interrupted him again "_You what_?"

He was starting to be annoyed with her interruptions, and he was about to say it but she was doing a monologue practically "_You said you loved me_" she said, and then became quiet.

She pissed him off! How could she admit that to him when he said he was leaving? He opened his mouth to yell at her, and she started talking again, furious, "You can take your love with you and get the hell out of here, Castle!"

As she said that, Kevin and Javier decided to go away and don't hear anything more.

"I'm not going _anywhere_ until you hear me out!" he said trying to not kill her with his bare hands.

He was furious; she was furious.

"Don't bother explain yourself now", the silent room was getting on her nerves. She gave up, went off the room and didn't wait for an explanation from him.

She ran to her apartment, ignoring Captain Gates's orders completely; she couldn't breathe. Why now? How can he say he loves her and then say he's leaving?

On the half way to her apartment she started to process things. It didn't took her _that long_ to admit to him that she heard him that day, _only_ 10 months, but still haven't give him an answer. It's simple: or she loves him back or she doesn't. Who was she trying to fool? There's no _or, _she just do love him back, _period_.

He knew it wasn't good… he had never ever seen her like that before. Wait. He _did_. Always related to her mother's murder.

Who cares what she thinks now? She admitted that she heard him just to hurt him back? To blame him for leaving? Wasn't his fault! She didn't even listen to him!

"_Know what, Kate? You're gonna listen to me right now! Every single word that's trapped in my mouth for months!_" he thought with himself.

He headed to her apartment intending to make her listen to his hurting heart 'till he decides that he's done.

He knocked on her door impatiently. He's gonna say everything he wanted to, and then he would make it clear that their partnership is _over_. How can a woman mess with his head like she does?

"_Come on_!" He knocked again and again and again, untill he heard the locks unlock.

His heart was beating so fast… earlier he just wanted to tell her the they were gonna have to be friends, hoping it would evolve to a relationship, a real one. _Now_? Now he _deserves_ to know why she kept the truth from him, and why she lied to his face every time he asked her if she remembered anything from that day.


	2. Bad feeling

She finally opened the door with tearful eyes, trying to hide it though.

He started to talk "_You_ are…" as he invited himself in.

She interrupted him with something unexpected "Broken beyond repair".

"What? _What happened to you_?" He asked. Then he saw the tears roll down her face.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you this morning, Castle" she speaks between her tears "I don't…"

He decided that it was his turn, "_About_ this morning… I have some things to say to you and you'll hear me out _without_ interrupting me, Kate".

He called her Kate, she knows that it means he is going to bring up _that subject._

"When will you write the book, Rick?" Did she even listen to him?

"In a month or so I'll be going to the Hampton's and stay there 'till it's finished. Alexis will be gone to college and I need to put some things together in my head" he answered.

"So, you'll still be at the 12th for a while? I mean, for about a month?" she was interrogating him.

"I don't know yet" his tone changed.

_"What_ you mean you don't know? Or you'll be or you won't!" She protested.

"It _depends_…" he started to explain, "_On what_?" she cut him again.

"STOP THAT! Why do you always have to interrupt me when I'm trying to talk to you? _Listen to me_!" he snapped.

"'_kay_, go on. Talk" She crossed her arms and looked away. She had stopped crying by then.

"It depends _on this conversation_, Kate" he had softened his voice.

He walked towards her and sat close to her, on the couch. She was sitting on the couch's armrest and she was becoming afraid of their talk.

He couldn't understand what he was doing and saying, why just don't say what he came to say and leave? How come just the lost puppy look in her eyes can melt his anger like _that_? She didn't really had to explain why she hided it from him all this time: _it_ _was written all over her face_.

He got it. He knew in that moment that she _does_ love him back. All the anger was gone, all he wanted was to hug her and stop her tears, he wouldn't leave her. Ever. But still… she was pissed at him. He had to explain what he was talking about this morning to her. He was impressed by how the table turned on him.

"First of all, I'm not writing Nikki Heat's last book because I want to. I have a contract that specifies 4 Nikki Heat books, and so I can't make it 8 or 9 books just to be at the Precinct with you" he was finally talking without being interrupted.

As he started explaining she was looking down, but while he was talking she turned her head to face him, still looking down though.

"So… " she started, "_For goodness sake's, SHUT UP, Kate_!" he make things loud and clear for her. She nodded.

"Second, I know you would never forgive me if I said that I was leaving the day before I leave, so I told you the news as soon as Gina told me the publisher wasn't going to extend the contract for more books because I don't go on book tours anymore." She was looking at him as he said it. He got her attention after all.

"Third, and last, I couldn't come up with any excuse to be with you at the 12th that could convince Gates that I should be there _without a book to write,_ and so I need your help at this, or else I'll have to go" he waited for a response or anything "Well, do you have any questions about this, Kate? You can talk now."

She took a deep breath:

"Basically you won't be able to be with me, _and the rest of the guys_, anymore because you're always with me?" she asked.

"Well, kind of. They're punishing me for not fulfill my best-seller writer's obligations anymore" He answered.

"And you don't know if you're going to spend your last month with me, I mean, at the 12th _because_…?" she inquired.

"Because I love you and you _know_ it" he said as she looked into his eyes searching for the truth.

"I… I… know it, since the shooting" she confessed with her eyes closed.

"So…" he said.

"So…" she said.

"I'm waiting, Kate", he was a bit anxious.

"I know, Castle, I know you are, for quite a while now. I'm not ready to say this" she tried to explain.

"Say what, Kate?"

"You know what, you can't not know it, but still, you need me to say and I can't yet. So, if this last month depends on me saying it so you can stay, I'm afraid you won't be with me any more days."

His heart was beating so strongly, and so fast, this was the closest he'd ever been to hear what they both wanted to hear from each other. Yes, he knows now she loves him, but it didn't mean much if she doesn't say it out loud.

"So… what you mean is that you want me to stick around while you fix whatever you said it's _broken beyond repair_? You know you have about a month to fix it and enter to the next year Guinness Book of _unlikely_ things, right? If it's _beyond_ repair…" he said with a smile using his poke tone.

"Yes… that's _exactly_ what I meant, Castle" smiling back.

"You're terrible with words, you know?" he teased her.

"Maybe I should take some lessons with this writer I know..." she could see he was giving her one last chance.

He took her hand. He instinctively took her hand. Not that he wanted to push her or anything, she just gave him hope and he gave her a dead line, which she accepted. He knew that within a month he could have his dream girl-broken-beyond-repair or know that it would never ever happen. He was optimistic.

She squeezed his hand a bit as she took a deep breath. He saw it and he felt it as well. They sat in there, in the silence just holding hands for a while.

She was wondering _what if_ she kissed him, what would that mean _right now_ and what if she couldn't say it to him by the end of the deadline, what this kiss would mean _then_?

"Castle…" she finally said something.

He interrupted her as he pulled her to his lap in one movement, "Castle is the partner of the extraordinary Detective Beckett, _I'm Rick_" he whispered in her ear.

She closed her eyes and forehead to forehead with him she softened her voice "_Hi, Rick_…", "_Hello, Kate_" he replied.

For the very first time they looked at each other's eyes like that. They were both having deep breaths; both hearts were beating so fast and so strongly that it almost left their bodies.

He went to kiss her, but he didn't. His mouth barely touched hers and came back. She wondered what happened and she thought he didn't want to push, so she went to kiss him, so he could know it was _ok_, but then, when her mouth felt his breath, almost touching his mouth, she came back as well. She was afraid of losing him after having him.

He put his hand on hers, which was resting on her thigh, and a little while later he made his way to her waist. The tips of their noses were rubbing one another calmly. She put one hand on his chest and felt his heart beating the very same way hers was. He raised his head a bit and kissed her forehead slowly.

He felt her fingers press down on his chest and then he kissed the tip of her nose. He felt her fingers again, so he did the same with his fingers on her waist. He went and kissed her chin, then the right corner of her mouth; as he felt her nails on his chest, he kissed the left corner. Her nails would mark his skin in a bit and he wanted it.

That's it: it was time to kiss her. He barely touched her lips again, then pressed his cheek on hers and whispered in her ears "I feel bad about this. I didn't even took you on a date and I'm trying to kiss you already."

"So?" She asked him, passing her other hand through his hair on the back of his head and grabbed it.

Her mouth was so close that he felt her expiration on his lips. She bit his lower lip... He opened his eyes and met hers looking at him, less than an inch from his eyes. She had this naughty smile biting her lower lip.

"You sure do like biting lower lips, don't you?" he said smiling too "I should take you out on a date first."

"Are you asking me out? Look at you: Rick the gentleman" she teased.

_"Believe me_, I don't have _anything gentle_ in my mind right now, and no, I'm not asking you out. You can take your time" he said moving her to his side.

He had this weird look, so she got up. He went straight to the bathroom and after a few moments with cold water, he went back to her living room.

"So, tomorrow I'll pick you up at 7:30 pm so you can take me out on a date, Rick" she said putting her arms around his waist resting her head on his chest "and maybe after we can _make out_." She bit her lower lip with the thought.

"Sounds good, Kate" he tied his arms around her, kissed her on the top of her head and walked towards the front door.

How did they got there? That morning they were as always and now they have a date after really hot almost-kisses. Why they care? _They have a date_!


	3. Bad idea

They didn't get any sleep that night. They both thought that the date was not a good idea. They were caught by the moment.

Why the hell did they had a moment again? _Oh, yes_: Castle was leaving.

Alexis found her father starring at the front door with a coffee mug "Are you expecting someone this early?".

"Oh! Good morning, pumpkin. No, I'm not expecting anybody this morning, are you?" he answered her.

"So why are you starring at the door?", she was suspicious.

"Well, I have a date tonight", he took a deep breath. "_With the door_?" she was trying to get a smile.

"Funny you. It's just that I think this date might be a really bad idea", he looked disappointed.

"And who is your date, Dad?" now she was just curious.

"Hey! I don't kiss and tell! I may not have kissed her yet, but… _wait_! I _did_!"

"Hum… anyone I know?" can't blame a girl for trying.

"You're not getting this _info_ from me, Lex."

"Fine! So, why is that a bad idea? Was that kiss awful enough to prevent this date?"

"No, no, no! It was a _hot_, I mean, a _great_ kiss but I feel I'm pushing her and I don't want that" he was almost desperate.

"Where are you taking her?"

"Didn't think of that yet…"

"Don't worry, dad. You'll come up with something unique."

"And probably use you as an excuse to cancel it." everybody uses their kids as an excuse some day.

"Dad, no woman goes on a date with you without wanting it."

"Think so?"

"I _know_ so."

"She did asked _me_ out…"

"Oh God, dad! Really? And _you_ are pushing her?"

"Hey! She caught me by surprise before I could ask her out!" he knew it was a lie.

"Well, I could get you this info, you know… if she thinks it's a bad idea too, dad…"

"If you mention a word of this to Lanie you're in trouble. She would tell Beckett and…"

"You don't want her to know you have cold feet about your date with her."

"Yes… no! No! No! I do _not_ have a date with detective _Beckett_, Alexis! Jeez, from where you get these ideas?"

"Sure you don't, Dad. I have to go." she kissed him on his forehead and went to the morgue to her internship with Lanie.

* * *

><p>"What happened, Kate?" said the therapist.<p>

"Last night, I mean, yesterday morning…" she took a deep breath before she could go on "Castle is leaving."

"And how you feel about that?"

"I… I… I'm not ready for this!" she was anxious.

"Did anything happen to make him leave? Between the two of you…"

"No, I mean… he has to write Nikki Heat's final book, so he won't be shadowing me after that anymore."

"He told you that?"

"Yes…"

"And how did you take it?"

"I snapped at him, didn't even let him explain. I kind of told him I remembered what he said, you know, when I got shot at"

"And you talked about it?"

"Yes… no... not really. Later that night he came to my apartment and we talked"

"Was he angry? You two fought?"

"I think he was _really mad_ but he said he's not getting out of my life, just the precinct because he doesn't have an excuse to be there with me anymore, and he kind of asked me if I felt the same way about him…"

"And what you said, Kate?"

She took a sit "That I wasn't ready to tell him my feelings; that he can't not know how I feel but I'm just not ready for _us."_

"You said _us_?"

"Not to him, no."

"And how he took it?"

"He knows. He wants me to say it out loud though."

"It's a fair request, don't you think?"

"I'm not ready!"

"From where I stand you are."

She became silent for a while thinking of what he just said to her.

"I… he… _we_… almost kissed last night."

"What happened?"

"No one had the guts to go and do it already, so instead of kissing I asked him out."

_"You_ asked him out?"

"Technically I did. He said we should go out on a date and see where it leads us but he didn't ask me out. And after the kiss, which _did not_ happen, when he was leaving I asked him on a date. With me. Tonight."

"That's a progress, Kate, and you made it by yourself!"

"It's a _bad idea_! I'm not ready for this! What if I mess this thing up because I'm broken or something?"

"You're not broken."

"I have a month to let him _in_ my life or else I think I'm gonna lose him. For good."

"So why is this date a bad idea? If you're running out of time."

"I told you! I'm not ready!"

"Kate, last night you took some control of your life back. You chose your _life_ instead of your mother's _death_. You're ready."

"What if I'm not?" she now had doubts.

"So call him and cancel it."

"What would he think if I canceled it? Would he take it as an answer to his _I love you_ and think that I…?"

"You…?"

"That I don't love him back."

" I don't know. It's possible. Or you can call him and say you're not ready despite you've asked _him_ out."

She left the doctor's office without making a decision.

* * *

><p>Castle arrived at the precinct with her coffee as usual. When he saw her, he took a deep breath and approached her desk. He left the coffee in front of her and sat on his chair. She looked at the coffee and froze.<p>

"Good morning, detective" he finally said.

"Morning, Castle. Thanks for the…" she pointed at the coffee and took a sip.

* * *

><p>Ryan and Esposito were carefully watching the two of them. They never got to see the end of the day's before argue but they were sure Beckett won. She always did. They were acting weird though.<p>

"What do you think?" Ryan asked.

"I think he won't go, you know?" Esposito answered.

"I think he will…" Ryan was closer to Castle, after all.

"He won't leave Beckett, _bro_, he's here almost getting killed from time to time just to be with her."

"Yes, but he never said he was acttually _leaving_ before, _bro_!"

"But they never get anywhere even if they're _cuffed together_, Ryan!"

"So you think he'll just go and forget about her?"

"I think he'll stay and nothing is gonna change."

"I think he'll go, but she's the one who won't let him leave without her."

"You're such a… _prince charming_."

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on! If he stays and they stay in this phantom relationship I win… _no paperwork for a year_!"

"Fine! But If I win, and he goes and she takes the first step to their relationship, you're the one who is doing paperwork for a year."

"That's a bet!"

"That's a bet!"

* * *

><p>"So, <em>tonight<em>…" Castle whispered

"What about tonight? You wanna cancel it?"

"Oh, _me_? No, no. _I can't wait_! You're having second thoughts?" he was surprised by her question.

"What? _Me_? No, no, no. What makes you think that?" she couldn't admit it.

"Oh nothing, I didn't mean you don't wanna go anymore, I was…"

"… having second thoughts yourself?"

"No… just curious."

"'kay then… I guess we have a…"

"… _date…"_

"…tonight."

He couldn't admit he thought this was a bad idea, but she wasn't going to be the one who canceled it either.

"Yo! What's up?" Esposito called their attention.

"_Nothing_" Castle and Beckett said together.

"Ok…" Esposito was suspicious of their act.

"We got a fresh one!" said Ryan grabbing his coat.

Castle bumped in Beckett when they were leaving and they both apologized at the same time.

"You two are up to something…" Esposito tried once again.

"What makes you think that?" said Castle.

_"Bro_, _you_ bumped on _Beckett_ and _she_ apologized! She didn't told you to pay attention on your way or anything." Javi teased them.

"We _both _bumped, Esposito, and I'm not bossy to yell at him just for that!"

"Girl, you're _so_ bossy like that" said Espo.

"Yeah, you kind of yell at me when I do something like this, Ka… I mean, Beckett" confessed Castle.

"No, I'm not! And you two: _start walking already_!"

"_See_?" said the boys together.

* * *

><p>When they were alone in the car and nobody was saying anything, she tried small talk:<p>

"So, am I that bossy?"

"Is it a trick question?" he was confused.

"What?"

"Are you trying to cancel our D-A-T-E?"

"No, I'm not trying to cancel our _date_, Castle, why would you think that?"

"I don't know…"

_"You're_ trying to cancel it by getting _m_e to cancel it!"

"I knew this was a bad idea…"

"Canceling the date or the date itself?"

"Both?" he was hoping she'd agree.

"What's up, Castle?"

"This situation is awkward."

"Yeah, I know"

"Oh! Thank God! So what we do?"

"I think we should go on our date and break this date tension we have. If things go well ok, if it doesn't we stay friends."

" What?"

"It can't hurt, right?"

"Right..." he said in disbelief "So where do you wanna go?"

He had no idea where to take her and she was hoping for something which does not put them together to talk in normal dates because…

"I suck at dates, Castle."

"Excuse me?"

"I do. Less talk and more action always works for me."

"I didn't get what you mean."

"I'm saying this thing will become a Greek tragedy if you take me to a restaurant to talk and get to know each other. I suck at that…" she was being honest.

"So where do we go?"

"You're a writer! You can think of something creative, can't you?"

"I guess… can I take the day off?"

"What for?"

"Prepare myself for the tragedy."

They both laughed.

"I'm serious, Castle…"

"I know, Kate. I have an idea. But I need Ryan."

"Ryan? No! Leave the boys out of this!"

"They won't even suspect that _you_ are my date."

"Technically _you_ are _my_ date. _I_ asked you out, remember?"

"I was distracted."

"I know…"

"How could you know?"

"I was sitting on your lap, Castle, believe me, I know how much you were _distracted…"_

"This is embarrassing. I was going to ask you out."

"No, you were not!" she couldn't believe him.

"Ok, I wasn't"

"Just like that day in LA, when we were chasing Royce's killer, I told I was going to sleep and you went to bed too. By the time I opened my door again you're gone."

"You were gonna invite me to your room?"

"No…? I don't know what I was thinking; when I made up my mind you were already gone."

"Damn it, Kate!_ I waited_! Then I gave up because you never gave me a sign that you wanted it too!"

A few moments later Kate broke the silence:

"I've got to tell you something, so you can know for how long I'm waiting for you to ask me out."

"_Keeps getting better_…" he was having a bad day.

"Don't you wanna know?"

"I don't but you're telling me anyway" and he looked throught the window.

"Yes, I am. That time when you invited me to the Hampton's…"

"…_when you were with Demming_… " said Castle twisting his nose.

"…_and you went with_ _Gina."_

"_What_?"

"I was going with you, you know?"

"What? No you were not! I asked you so many times and the answer never changed!"

"When it did change, Gina showed up."

"You were going to the Hampton's with me?"

"I was."

"I told I didn't wanna know… Was there any other time that you gave in too late?"

"Too late? You give up too early!"

"Don't blame this on me! You were with Demming!"

"I broke up with him so I could go with you!"

"You did?"

"I did."

"I want to kiss you right now…"

"Hey! Don't you even try to do that. You wanted a date so you've got one." she was just being mean.

"_Fine_, there will be no kiss then!"

"Let's see how much you can take without giving in."

She bit her lower lip.

Their date became a game so it wasn't as heavy on their shoulders anymore.


	4. Bad bet

They wouldn't know how to tell people, so they decided to wait and see whatever happens. Beckett needed help getting dressed, but before she could ask Lanie for help, she asked Castle where they were going so she can know what to wear.

"Normal clothes, that allows you to move freely" was his answer.

After almost fighting with Lanie over clothes, she put on something sexy, but not that much. A red blouse with an almost deep V neckline and dark jeans. He was handsome as usual, with dark jeans and a long sleeve black shirt. She put on makeup and was wearing high-heel boots.

As she got to his place he had a big bag with an evidence tag on it by the door.

"Are you stealing the evidences again, Castle?"

"Not quite stealing... just borrowing it_"_ he was hoping to survive the rest of the night.

"I never saw that bag. Anyway, where are we going tonight?"

"You'll see, Kate. And the bag is coming with us… " he said on his way out of his loft. She followed him.

* * *

><p>They went to an abandoned building.<p>

"Really romantic for a first date, Castle" she said "Oops! _Rick_."

"Funny you. We already went to have dinner, have burgers, went to the movies, to parties, to underground poker and lots of other places. Where else can I take you?_ "_ he protested.

"Oh! We went to most of those places _to look for suspects_! You could take me... hum… I don't know… to your bedroom, to my apartment… to a really fancy hotel… " she whispered in his ears e saw his arms shiver.

"Kate…" he put his hands on her waist… she laughed "You're so easy! So, what are we doing here with stolen, sorry, _borrowed_ evidence?" she asked walking away from him.

He took a moment to reestablished his breathing and focus "You're gonna shoot the wall behind you."

"You didn't take _those_ guns, did you? You _did_! Come on! It's impossible to hit any target with them!" she was becoming tense and she thought this wasn't gonna be a date after all.

He switched the lights on and then she realized that this was a pretty objective date. There was some circles, each one inside of a bigger one. There were five of them, the whole thing was huge!

In the bigger one was written "drink", the one inside that "question", the next circle was "request", the other "confess something" and the last really small in the center "get physical".

"_Get physical,_ Rick? _Really_? " she laughed.

"What a dirty mind Katherine Beckett! Hold hands, hug, cuddle, cheek kiss… you know" he had a naughty boy smile on him.

"Sure do, Rick. So, how this works?" She said smiling back.

"Thought you're never gonna ask! Each one has one weapon, and we have silvertape over here to cover the holes that we already 'used', so nobody can cheat. You shoot, you earn the prize from where you hit, and I'm the one who will have to do whatever you hit. Simple as that. You must swear to say the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth…"

"I do."

"… and there's no limits to the questions or requests, ok? The requests _must_ be followed and can't be anything physcal" he was implying so many things...

"Ok, I guess… I'll play your game. Who wins?" She asked.

"Who wins? Somebody _has_ to win? Wins who can hit the smaller circle more times, I guess."

"I can work with that" as she pulled one of those antique weapons "and I'll start."

She aimed at the center and hit the "request" tag. Immediately she looked at him and said "I want one extra bullet."

He showed the drinks and the snacks he had brought and put his iPhone to play some songs. "This is not going where it should, but, yes mam, you have one extra bullet. Shoot again."

She did. She hit the question mark:

"So, Rick… what should I ask you? Are you seeing someone?"

The question was fair, he answered honestly "Yes, for about 4 years, but I think it's really getting somewhere now."

Her eyes lit up and a shy smile formed on her mouth. She bit her lower lip. That was her tell, he never said it to her, but he knew: she was tempted.

"Well, my turn!" he said as he aimed and shoot.

"Wanna get me drunk?" she asked as she tapped his hole in the 'drink' circle. `

"I was going to offer you some water but ok, I can work with drunk. I'll make you a tequila shot"

"I will take the shot but not like Nikki and Rook, ok?" and bit her lower lip.

It might be _his_ fantasy but she _wanted_ it.

"It's my call miss, and you'll drink it from my hand just _like_ Nikki."

She took the shot he made her and then she hit the question mark again:

"Do you have any dark secrets, Rick?"

His face went dark:

"Yes, I do."

"Really? And what is it?"

"Hey, you asked if I had, I do, but you didn't ask what was it, so you won't know" and shoot his gun.

Surprisingly it hit the center and he asked her for a hug, which she gave him for a few minutes.

"My turn" she said trying to free herself.

"You're a detective, do it hugging me!"

"Ok, I will…" she hit the 'drink' mark and she prepared him a shot.

And then they both hit that mark for 3 rounds. By the second time Rick was preparing Kate a shot, she started being creative. She made him lick her finger to fixate the salt between his neck and his collarbone and put the slice of lime between his teeth. She knew what she was doing. Kate took advantage of that; they had a bet after all.

With her right hand she was caressing his hair and the left hand on his chest she slowly licked the salt from his neck, drank the tequila shot and bit the slice of lime almost kissing him. To be fair, he did the same to her.

With the next shot she thought she could take him down. She licked his finger and put salt on it and made him hold the slice of lime between his teeth again. Looking in his eyes she sucked his finger, took the shot and bit down the lime passing her tongue on his lips afterwards. He almost gave in. He grabbed her and when he was about to make out with her, he said:

"You're _so_ mean. My turn" he smelled her hair just by her ear to tease her.

For the next shot instead of putting the salt on her finger, he put it on her earlobe. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. Their mouths were less than an inch away from each other. She moaned. She definitely _was_ mean. She let him go and prepared herself to shoot one more time.

She hit the "confess something" and looked at him waiting his confession.

"Well… I confess I can't take it much longer if you keep doing that to me" he was hoping she would take this confession as valid.

"Hum… ok, I'll make this count as a confession" She smiled.

He was relieved. On his turn, he hit the center. She was shocked: how he did that?

"Come on, cuddle with me for… hum…2 rounds."

"Cuddle? You're kidding? It's not fair!"

"Afraid you'll give in?"

"No, spread your hands all over… I won't give in tonight."

She was disappointed: his hands were behaving, "What's wrong, Rick?"

"What?" he was confused.

"Your hands are holding still."

"Hey, if they start feeling you all over it will take _me_ down."

"All right… my turn." She leaned on his chest making an effort to keep every inch of her body she could on him. She couldn't concentrate, "Rick, if you're gonna keep kissing my neck and whispering in my ear I'll miss the target!"

"Miss the target? I wanna see you hit what you aimed!"

They both laughed.

She hit the question mark again, "Can I ask something really personal?"

He took a deep breath: "Ok, as long it doesn't involve numbers."

She smiled. "Why are you single? I mean, you're great, more than great, but why did your marriages failed?"

"Oh, personal like that… well, I think it's a fair question" he took a moment "Meredith was a hurricane in my life and Alexis's and she drove us crazy, so when she got a job in LA me and Alexis stayed, after a while we divorced friendly."

"It must had been hard."

"Not really, no. It was for the best. And the best excuse ever, we're still friends. And my relationship with Gina had the _work_ factor, so she was kind of my boss and my wife, was too much power in her hands and she used it wrongly, if you know what I mean…"

"So both times it wasn't _enough_ what you felt?"

"You can say that... there was no feelings after a while, you know? I guess it wasn't love. So I kept single… it's not fair to Alexis if I bring home just anybody."

"Thanks for your honest answer, Rick."

This time _he_ hit the 'question' mark, so he asked her "What holds you back? What are you afraid of?"

"Hum… Messing up what we have, you know? Like if we get together and it's nothing else than tension between us, like Sophia said, or don't be able to let go from the responsibility of catching my mother's killer… and keep you waiting… and I'm afraid of you just stop waiting… and…"

He hugged her tight " Hey… calm down! I _love_ you, I _will_ stop waiting… when you arrive. And Sophia? She knew I love you so forget all she said to you related to me and you, ok?"

"What happened between you two?" no, she did not missed her chance.

"We dated, she wanted something serious, I just had a divorce; Alexis was a toddler... I didn't want what she wanted so I ended things."

They were both in silent for a while, dealing with the tequila shots in their bodies. She broke the silenc "How come you hit the center twice and didn't ask for a kiss?" she inquired.

"How come you have police training and didn't hit the center for once to get your kiss?" he answered mocking her.

She withdrew her of duty weapon and shot the smaller ring.

"Give me my kiss, Rick."

Her eyes were mean and he liked that. She bit her lower lip. He was speechless… shocked, "You know, _this is cheating_!" he said walking towards her.

They were both kind of drunk, but she didn't miss her target.

"And from where this gun came? I hugged you and cuddled with you and I did not felt it!" he was confused.

"You talk too much, Rick."

"Well… _yeah_! You know, you didn't have to cheat to get a kiss from me."

"_Now we won't know, will we_? I want _my_ kiss, Rick."

There he was and there she was: less than a step away from each other.

As she demanded, he went for the kiss. His right leg came between hers and his right hand went through her hair and gently held her head still. She felt his warm breath so she opened her mouth a bit but he barely touched her mouth like the day before. And again, and again, and again.

He felt her impatience and it was just what he wanted, he could see her pupils dilated and the heat on her cheeks. Her hands were on his chest and as her patience went off she grabbed his shirt to pull him closer. He rested his forehead on hers and she saw his pupils dilated as well.

He put his left hand on her waist but since she was grabbing his shirt, her blouse lifted up a bit and his hand touched her bare skin. He couldn't take it anymore. She pulled his shirt again and he dove into her mouth.

Their movements were intense but when her tongue invaded his mouth they became _hungry_ for each other. His left hand was on her back under her blouse and her hands ripped off the buttons of his shirt and her nails were drawing on his chest and back. She lifted her left leg hugging his right leg; as he felt it he, with his right hand, held her left thigh tight to his hip.

Kate was using the wall they're shooting at as support for her back.

"I need to take a breath, Kate."

"Take it later..." she whispered and kissed him again with her left hand messing his hair and the right scratching his back.

He gathered all his strength, held down all his desire and let his integrity took over control "Kate… we're drunk."

"Yes, we are. So?" she did not like it...

"We must stop. Now."

"Rick, I _know _you don't mean that, I can _feel_ and I'm not talking about feelings here."

"You're mean. Believe me, I know what you mean and I'm saying we have to stop. I'm not doing _this_ with you drunk. We have plenty of time to get _there_."

"You talk too much and too fast. I didn't get half the things you said… you're right: I'm drunk. Let's go… home."

"I'll take you home. You're cute when you're drunk, you know?"

"Cute? Come on! After a kiss like _that_ I'm cute?"

"No, before that kiss you were sexy; after? You're _really hot_. But drunk? You're a cute tiger."

"Fine… I'll take the compliment."

He took her to his home so he could change his shirt.


	5. Bad wait

"So… Kate, now we can get you to your apartment. Kate? I changed my shirt, we're good to go" He said coming from the laundry.

No response.

"_Oh God_… is that my mother's voice? _Damn it!"_ he ran to the loft's kitchen.

"Richard, darling, what's wrong?" Martha asked.

"Have you seen…"

"Did you bring your date, Dad?" Alexis came from behind him.

"What makes you think that, honey?" he jumped of surprise.

"Well, there's a woman's bag on the couch and a shirt, which don't have any buttons left, with it. So, dad, is she here?"

"Well… " he was trying to think of a good excuse.

"She _is_! Where is she?" Alexis was excited.

"As the matter of a fact, I don't know pumpkin. She should be here."

"Who should be here, Richard?" Martha had this disapproval look on her face.

"Detective Beckett!" said Alexis.

"Oh, Richard! Why didn't you tell me you two were dating?" mother's with their tons of questions…

"Alexis! Mother! I am not dating _Beckett_! And I don't know where my date went! I'll go look for her" he snapped.

And he was telling the truth: he was dating _Kate_.

"Want some help?" said Alexis and Martha.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! I'll find her myself. She's probably hiding from the two of you!" he went to his bedroom to look for her.

* * *

><p>He found her.<p>

On his bed.

Sleeping.

"So, what do I do?" he thought out loud.

If he waked her up, we'd have to pass through those two nosy girls in the kitchen, but if she wakes up there it might be worst. He had to choose: awkward or awful?

"Kate? Wake up" he whispered in her ears "Kate? You've gotta wake up!"

"What?" she didn't even opened her eyes. Not even one.

"Let me take you to bed, I mean, to your bed. No... to your apartment"

"Hum… go away" she moaned some words.

"Ok, I'll carry you home" he lifted the sheets and froze "You're… on your underwear. Your _red_ underwear. You prepared yourself for the battle, didn't you? I guess I'd lose… I _was going to lose_… everything."

And he had to make a new decision: put her clothes on her and take her home or just leave her on his bed. He took a closer look; after all, she did take off her clothes herself. He saw her scars and like a five-year-old, he put his finger there.

Less than an inch away he heard her voice "Lose _everything_, huh?" and she was pretty much awake.

"Jeez! Kate! You're _awake_! I was just.. just…"

"…just?" she was laughing non stop.

"I was going to put your clothes back on you and take you home" he almost had a heart attack.

"Oh, really? And what does it have to do with my scars?" she busted him.

"I… I … I never saw them before, so…"

"… so?" she was being mean to him.

"I remembered the day you're shot and what I said…"

"Huh… what you said that day."

"Yeah, you know… I thought you were dying and it could be my last chance."

"You could have gotten me killed just by saying those words, you know? I know I passed out after you said them and I'm pretty much sure it was because you made my heart beat so fast and, you know, I did had a hole in it, so…"

"So you really never forgot it."

"Nope" she finally admit it to him.

"I'm glad to know that I made your heart beat fast with my words."

"You're not mad?"

"Mad? You're almost naked on my bed! How can I be mad?"

"Oh… well, look away."

"Why?"

"I'll put on my clothes and go home."

"You're ending our date. You're killing it."

"Hey! You killed the mood back there! And thanks for not making our date a _date."_

"Always" he said with a tender smile on his face.

"Look away, Rick!"

"I just saw you wearing only your _red_ _underwear_! Unless you're taking off more clothes, I don't think there's a point in your request."

"Rick!"

"I'm not looking away!"

"Rick!"

"Seriously!"

"Fine! But keep your hands to yourself, mister writer" she winked.

"Kill joy."

"Your mother and daughter are home!"

"About that… they're in the kitchen."

"And how I'm supposed to get out?"

"Or you stay here a while longer 'till they go sleep, or you'll have face their questions and _eager eyes_."

"Oh, I hate _eager eyes_!"

"Stick around, babe… it's your only option."

"Go get the tequila."

"Right away!" he didn't think twice.

He came back with the bottle. She said "You know, I didn't think I could have so much fun on our first date."

"Say that again."

"Our first date?"

"I like the sound of that."

"Me too" she smiled as her mouth searched for his.

"What are you doing?"

"Do I have to shoot something again to get another kiss?"

"Oh, no… but I was wondering if I can get you drunk to continue our conversation from where we stopped there."

"Get me drunk? Yeah right… I can take you down on that."

_"Really_?"

"Oh yeah, mister writer."

"You're on!"

"Well… let's play my game now, ok?"

"And what is your game?"

"It's called _'to be continued'_…"

"What? No!"

"I gotta get home, Rick."

"Fine... I'll take you home, come on."

"By foot?" she laughed.

"No, by cab" he went to the door.

* * *

><p>She took a moment before she could regret it:<p>

"Rick?"

"Yes, Kate?"

"Come back in here."

As he turned back he saw her taking off her blouse again.

"Wh… what are you doing?"

"Come here…"

"Ok!"

"Not for_ that_, Rick."

"What for then?"

"Give me your hand…"

"You don't have to do this, Kate."

"I want to."

She put his hand on her scar in the middle of her chest.

"Kate…"

"Hear me out, ok?" tears were starting to roll down her face.

"Ok. I'm listening."

"When I heard you scream my name and jump in front of the bullet I thought you could die. And then I felt the bullet burning inside me. I was terrified and you came and said to stay with you, it helped."

"I…" he didn't know what to say.

"Let me finish, Rick... You said you loved me after jumped in front of that bullet, too late thank God. I was a mess…"

"Kate…"

"Hear me out! I couldn't drag you into my life, I was out of control. It took me sometime to face my scars. You know why?"

"Well, it almost killed you…"

"Because you said you loved me over that wound. I just couldn't face it yet…"

"What?"

"Every time I look at this scar I remember you tried to take the bullet for me and you said that you love me. This is not a bullet wound. It's the impression _your love_ left on me."

"What are you saying, Kate?"

"I'm saying _too_, Rick" her tears became joy.

"Huh?"

She took a moment.

"I love you _too_."

He took her in his arms and kissed her like he never ever kissed anyone before. Holding her touching her bare skin was driving him crazy.

"Say that again" he begged.

"I love you."

"Again!"

"I, Katherine Beckett, love _you_, Richard Castle. I do! I can't believe I said it!" she was thilled with her freedom.

"Yeah... tell me about it!" a tear formed in his eye.

He kissed her again... he was dreaming, he was sure of it! She was starting to lose control of herself, so she broke the kiss:

"Are you still taking me home?"

"What? You want to go home? I think so… yeah" he was having a hard time to reestablish himself.

"Let's go" she said offering her hand to him.

"You're such a kill joy!" no, it wasn't a dream, he realized.

The girls already went to bed, so it was safe to come out. In the cab he was trying so hard to keep his hands to himself and her hand was resting on his thigh.

Why? Why did she want to go home? To be alone with him? To get away from him?

* * *

><p>As they got to her apartment's front door, she turned to him:<p>

"So…"

"So…?"

"I guess this is goodnight then."

"Good… goodnight?"

"Well, _Rick_, how easy do you think I am? It's our _first_ date!"

"Believe me, I _know_ you're most definitely _not_ easy... not easy at all. You should arrest yourself, you know?"

"Yeah? What for?"

"You're a kill joy!"

She grabbed him and gave him one of the kisses she always wanted to give him.

"And now you're killing me" he was tortured.

He was standing so close to her… he pushed her against her front door and kissed her deeply. She manage to open the door while she was kissing him and…


	6. Bad loser

"Goodnight, Rick."

"How so? You're ending our date."

"I'm not ending our date… I'm ending our _first_ date."

"So you will go out with me again?"

"hum… I guess I could…"

"Oh… ok."

"Rick, I gotta sleep."

"Goodnight, Kate."

"Goodnight, Rick…" she kissed him goodbye and waited by the door.

He didn't knock. She thought he was gone so she sat on the couch and started to remember her date with Rick. How could she do all of that? It was not like her… at all. She was amazed with him, with her, with the two of them… with the _date_. She was biting her lower lip and decided to go for it. She grabbed her coat, opened the door and found him waiting:

"You said I usually give up too soom, so I decided to stick around… You do take too much time to make a decision…"

She grabbed his shirt, pulled him closer and kissed him deeply. The kiss was intense: they tripped on everything they found on their way, 'till they fell over the couch. His hands knew their way now, so he didn't lose time. She stopped him "How easy do you think I am? We're not having sex tonight, Rick."

"Let's make love, then!" and he kissed her again.

She took control of herself again and managed to take him to the door after a while.

"Night, Rick..."

"No, no, no, no… wait!"

"What?"

"I can't get a cab right now."

"Really? And why is that?"

"It's late. Like, _really_ late and…"

"…and? Come on, Rick, I'm tired… I want to take a bath and go to bed."

"Take a _bath_?" he was starting to imagine things...

"Focus!" she knew where his mind was.

"Right! It's embarrassing actually… I'm…" he looked down his pants.

"You're wh… _oh_. That _is_ embarrassing…"

"It's your fault!"

"Nope… I have nothing to do with it… I'm just fine myself."

"No, you're not! You were almost naked in my bed an hour ago, I _could_ tell."

"Good night, Castle!"

"Are we playing _detective_ now?"

"Ok, you can stay so you can take care of it, _by yourself_, while I take my bath."

"It would be helpful if I could watch you, you know?"

"Dream on!"

"I probably will…"

She kissed him out of the blue. She unbuttoned his shirt and took it off as she made her way backwards to her bedroom. She teased him with her hand over his pants and took off his belt. By the bedroom door she managed to take off his pants.

"White boxers, huh?"

"What?"

"Just picturing it, you know…"

"How's the picture?" he needed to know.

"It's… " she pushed him and he fell on his back on her bed.

_"Speechless_, I like that. Never did that to a woman before just by wearing white boxers."

She got on top of him and he always loved it when she got this bossy, which means all the time. She held his hands gently above his head while she was kissing his neck… his chest… his abs… she went to kiss him on his mouth and while she did it, she grabbed her cuffs and cuffed his left hand to the bed.

"Kinky! Just remember my safe word is…" he said with a naughty smile.

"Not kinky. Stay put… I'll take my bath and you'll take care of _that" _and looked at his problem "By the way, it's _apples_, I know."

"You do pay attention to what I say after all!"

"More than I want to… yes."

"Are you leaving me here wearing only my boxers after what you just did to me?"

"I was trying to help you…" she bit her lower lip "but if it would help, I can leave the bathroom's door open."

"That would definitely help, yeah… and thanks for leaving just the boxer's on… it is really helpful."

"Yeah… about that… I was just curious. Better safe than sorry. We definitely will have more dates."

"Katherine Beckett! I'm shocked!"

"I'm _sure_, Rick…" she took off her panties, threw it at him and ran into the bathroom.

"Keep doing that and I'll be done before you get in that bathtub…"

"Glad I could help!" she yelled from the bathroom.

After her bath she found him relaxed "How was your bath? I'm good."

"Okay… I can see that" she raised an eyebrow "so… you can sleep over tonight if you want to."

He was happier than a 5-year-old at Christmas. He took a moment before he could say anything that could change her mind.

"You smell good… cherries."

"You smell like sex" she giggled "it's _good_ actually" she bit her lower lip.

_"Apples_!"

"I knew you couldn't handle it."

"Someday you'll so gonna take that back. Not tonight though. Could you let me go so I can take a shower? I could really use a shower…"

"Ok, I'll let you go… if you promise to behave."

"You can cuff me again later, I promise. I'm tired too… I won't grab you and get myself some payback. Not tonight. I won't push you."

"Looks like I'm gonna have to push you, Rick…" she laughed.

"Do you have a towel I can use?"

"I do… here."

He took his shower and when he was done, he watched her sleeping for a few moments and since she was asleep… He liked the idea of getting so close to her. It's like if Nikki Heat was in that bed with him. She _was_ how he fantasized Beckett, anyway. He was exhausted… but still talking, though "I told you… you _are_ Nikki."

"In your dreams, Castle."

"You're awake?"

"You did take a shower, you know…"

"You watched me take a shower? How I missed that? Is this really happening?"

"It's _us_, Rick."

They cuddled and slept. Before he could get some sleep he cuffed them together, without a tiger this time.

A few hours later, she woke up and found herself cuffed to him.

"Morning, Castle…"

"Good morning... Beckett? Where am I?"

"You're in my bed and I don't know why, but you're cuffed to me. _Again_."

"Oh… I cuffed us."

"I can see that. So… why?"

"well… I knew you'd try to run away in the morning, so…"

"I live here… why would I run? Besides…"

"Besides?"

"You smell too good… I wouldn't be able to run away from your smell."

He hugged her tight "Are we really doing this?"

"Rick, we had a date…"

"It was like 4 dates in one."

"True…"

"So…"

"I think after 4 dates we can say we're _dating_, don't you think?"

His eyes lit up "Not yet."

_"What_?"

"Katherine Beckett, would you like to be my _girlfriend_?"

"I think I'll need one more date to answer that."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Haven't done a _test drive_ yet…"

"Why do you need a test drive for? You already _own the car_, you know."

"I owe you a date and an answer. Friday night?"

"It's Monday! I'm not waiting 'till Friday! Tonight!"

"I bet you give in first."

"Yeah... just like I gave in yesterday with the kiss."

"Technically you did kiss me."

"You asked for it!"

"You kissed _me_..."

"You're such a bad loser!"

"Tomorrow night, then."


	7. Bad mood

"Have you seen my… Never mind, I found it. And look at this: no buttons missing" he smiled at her.

"I'm a simple girl, Castle. Rip off all the buttons from one shirt a night is enough for me" she smiled back.

"The lost button's parallel world will be disappointed" he poked her.

"Besides, I thought we might be late for work today, so you'd need your buttons" She said unbuttoning his buttons.

"Wh… what are you doing?" he had lost his focus when she unbuttoned the very first button.

A phone rang.

"Castle" Rick answered it.

"Castle? What are you doing with Beckett's phone this early?" Esposito was surprised.

"Beckett's phone?" Castle was confused, "Beckett, it's Esposito", he whispered to her "on your phone".

"Damn it! Pretend I'm driving" she whispered to him.

"What's up, Castle?" Espo was trying to understand the whole situation.

"Noth… nothing. Beckett picked me up, we went for coffee and we now are going to the precinct. She's driving and asked me to answer her phone".

Beckett rolled her eyes. She knew exactly what Javi would think.

"You know this thing about lying? You can't keep it short." Esposito was a detective after all _and_ he overheard Beckett whispering on the background.

"Damn it, Castle! I told you to tell him I was driving, not to tell him a story!"

"I'm… sorry?" He was still confused.

"Too late. Espo _knows_" Beckett yelled at Castle.

"That's right, _bro_" Esposito said to Castle over the phone.

"Then you should know your timing sucks!" Castle didn't know why but he was feeling Beckett would come after him.

"Give me the phone, Castle…" Beckett took the phone from his hands. "Espo, what's up?"

"You tell me, girl…" He was just being a jerk.

"Esposito, cut to the chase"

"Fine… we have a dead body"

"We're on our way. Text me the address"

"Is that noise a microwave?"

"Bye, Espo" And she hung up.

"Your scrambled eggs were cold" Castle said trying to not be killed.

"It's 5 am, Rick… we won't come up with any excuse that justifies you being here with me, at my apartment".

"What if we just ignore them?"

"Yeah… _that should work_" she was being sarcastic.

"You're right. So what we do now?"

"I don't know, but we don't have time to talk 'bout this, let's go".

"Wait! They'll ask questions… tons of questions! What should we say?"

"You don't say a word to anybody. I've got this one"

"Why?"

"Because you're incapable of giving objective answers"

"Touché"

"Let's go" she went to the door.

"It'll be difficult to find a cab this early, you know?"

"We're not taking a cab, Castle" She handed him a helmet.

He actually _was_ speechless… but his imagination wasn't.

"Are you afraid?" She asked and bit her lower lip.

"I… hum… I… we'll show up on your motorcycle? Cuddling?"

"It's faster!"

She prepared herself to pilot and he observed her carefully.

"Remember, Castle, no matter what, don't let Esposito and Ryan take you out of mi sight. They're very protective of me".

"What?" now he was scared "How protective are they? They have guns!"

"I do too, remember?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Will you be needing it?" He _was_ scared.

"Just in case… don't leave my side. Come on up" She accelerated the motorcycle and he held on to her tight.

Despite his fear he was loving it. She could see his face from the rear view mirror.

They arrived at the crime scene making loud noise due to the motorcycle. Everybody turned to look at them.

* * *

><p>Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Alexis were sharing information. It wasn't about the crime scene though.<p>

"What is going on between Beckett and Castle?" Esposito approached Ryan and Lanie.

"We're trying to work here, Javi" Lanie was still mad at him.

"Why do you ask?" Ryan was curious.

"I called Beckett and Castle answered. He told me a big fat lie and then Beckett took the phone from him…" he was filling them in when Lanie interrupted "Now?"

"Yeah, just now. Why?" Esposito was gathering information.

"Beckett had a date last night and she wouldn't tell me with whom"

"My father had a date last night as well, but he swears it wasn't with detective Beckett. Although…"

"Oh…" Ryan just realized something "Castle borrowed some evidence yesterday".

"What?" Lanie and Esposito said it together.

"It's true, I saw a bag with an evidence tag on it in the loft yesterday" Alexis explained.

"You think it's related to her mother's murder?" Asked Lanie.

"Or Castle's father? Beckett asked me to pull some favors and follow a lead"

"On my grandfather?" Alexis was excited.

"Calm down, girl. It's a secret. Beckett won't tell your father 'till she gets something solid". Javier explained.

"Ok" Alexis replied.

"Do you know something else from your father's last night's date, Alexis?" Lanie was so curious.

"He brought his date to the loft. I found a woman's bag and one of his shirt's without any buttons left. But he changed his clothes and went out with her later because he didn't slept at home" she said all she knew.

"You'd be a hell of a witness" said Espo.

"But I never saw who the woman was"

"You're definitely a witness" Esposito reinforced his comment and laughed. Ryan and Lanie did the same.

"Ryan, what Castle 'borrowed' from the evidence room?" Lanie was trying to put things together.

"Remember those antique weapons from that duel case?"

"Guns?" Asked Alexis.

"It doesn't make any sense. Those guns don't hit any target. Ever" explained Esposito.

"Is that my dad with detective Beckett and a motorcycle?" Alexis was shocked.

Everybody turned their heads to see.

"Here's the thing: no word about Beckett's mother or Castle's father. Otherwise, bets with me" Lanie whispered.

"Hurry up! 50 on last night" Espo handed Lanie the money.

"50 on tomorrow!" Ryan did the same.

"I know my father… Esposito, you lost. A hundred on Thursday" Alexis handed Lanie the money.

"And I know Beckett. A hundred on _today_".

* * *

><p>Castle stepped down the motorcycle and Beckett took off her helmet. "They all know already"<p>

"How can you tell?"

"I can tell"

"Alexis is here. They _definitely_ know. What now?"

"If you're in hell get burned" as she said it, she pulled him closer and gave him a hot kiss. First he was surprised but quickly he put his arms around her. After a while she broke the kiss "This will shut them up".

"Worked with me" he wondered a moment "Hey! Did you just kissed me like that in front of my daughter?"

"Castle, she's going to college. A kiss like that should be the least of your concerns"

"Damn it! College is so…"

"_Wild_." She winked at him.

" Not funny… _so not funny_"

"But it is true" she said it and approached her friends.

Their mouths were still dropped as she said "We didn't had sex. What do we have here?" . She was trying to cut down some questions.

"Beckett, again, _my daughter_ is here!" Castle said.

"Oh, dad, please! I'm going to college already!"

"Why is everybody justifying this kind of thing by saying 'college' today?" He wasn't fond of that information.

"Oh… college. Good times. _Wild_ times" said Lanie remembering things.

"Would you just knock it off?" Rick got angry.

"Dad, I won't do half the things you did!"

"You better do _anything_ I did!" He was desperate: she was leaving to college in 2 weeks.

"So how was your date last night?" Javier was curious.

"This is my daughter here, you know?" Castle was serious.

"It was _that good, _huh?" said Lanie with a smile.

"I told you I should do the talking, Caslte. You suck at this…" Beckett laughed.

"Yeah… _right_" Castle was in a bad mood.

Beckett took off her gloves and held his hand. She smiled at him surrounded by eager eyes.


	8. Make a choice

All 3 ½ detectives went back to the precinct.

In the car, Castle was still in a bad mood "It's not fair, you know? They born so cute, innocent and we love them…"

"They have to be cute… babies _smells_" She smiled.

"True… but not long ago I was taking her to the park… now she's leaving to college"

"Castle, you should have known it would happen someday. She's a really smart girl, responsible, she'll be fine".

"Oh… _Alexis_? She's an excellent girl. I'm worried about the _bad_ boys".

"And you should… they are a younger version of you".

"You're not helping".

She laughed. "You know… I bet my father thinks the same thing about you".

"How so?" he was confused.

"He read your books".

"So… all the Becketts are my fans?" he couldn't hide his smile.

"The Nikki Heat's books" She waited until he realized it.

"What? Come on!"

"It was on the paper, you know… It doesn't matter. He knows it's healthier to not say a word"

"Healthier?"

"He learned his lesson while I was in college"

"What do you mean?" he was getting really worried about this college thing.

"Come on, Castle! I'm just playing you! Alexis will be fine. You'll be fine"

"Not so sure".

* * *

><p>They arrived at the 12th and Captain Gates showed up "Detective Beckett, come to my office".<p>

Beckett didn't like her tone. Castle was going with her, but Cap Gates told him to stay put where he was.

"What can I do for you, sir?" Beckett took the initiative.

"This morning I became aware you and Castle are sleeping together"

"I'm sorry? No, sir, we're not".

"So why were you kissing him at the crime scene?".

"Sir, I…"

"Listen to me, detective. I'm not letting you ruin your career because of a 40-year-old-boy who likes to play cop."

"What are you saying?".

"If you two are in a relationship, he can't be here anymore".

"What if we aren't?".

"Then you must come up with a good explanation for that kiss".

"If we're not in a relationship will you let him stay no matter what?"

"In that case? Yes."

"Do you give me your word?".

"I just did, detective. So? What's gonna be?".

"Do I have to answer now?".

"You have two weeks. Until then I don't wanna hear about kisses, looks, hugs, or holding hands during your work time".

"Yes, sir".

Now Beckett had to make a choice. She wasn't sure she and Castle would became a couple, but she sure didn't want to lose her partner. How could she tell Castle that? He would choose her over their partnership.

"If you choose him I'll assign you another partner".

"Another partner? I worked alone before Castle".

"Not anymore. I pulled some strains and I'm just waiting your decision to make it official".

"And who is this possible partner, sir? If I may ask".

"It's detective Demming, he showed interest in Homicide and he is a great candidate."

Beckett couldn't tell the Cap she had a history with Demming _because_ of Castle. She couldn't hide it too; it could compromise their work performance.

She could say they dated for a while to buy more time with Castle, but then Cap would look for a girl to replace Castle and she wasn't fond of this idea. It's easier to deal with boys.

Castle would freak out. He could even choose their partnership just so Demming would stay away.

If she doesn't say anything, Cap won't look for anyone else. But again, Castle is not a cop, he can't be her partner forever. It's dangerous.

"Two weeks, detective. You can go now".

Beckett nodded and left.

* * *

><p>Castle was already devastated because of Alexis, she couldn't bring this up now.<p>

"Everything's good?" Castle seemed worried.

Beckett smiled "Everything's good. Cap doesn't want us to be a couple during work, just it"

The boys knew there was something else, but they kept quiet.

"All right then" Castle smiled. He knew she was hiding something.

Her life turned upside down over night, and now Cap Gates just did it again.

"Guys? Lanie called, she's got something for you" Ryan told Beckett and Castle to go to the morgue.

* * *

><p>"So, Lanie, what you have for me?" Asked Beckett when she arrived.<p>

"Tons of questions, girl. Don't know where to start."

"Any of them related to the dead guy?".

"None. Where's Castle?".

"I sent him home. What you've got?".

"Are you ok?" Lanie could tell something was wrong.

"Cap Gates found out and told me to make a choice: Castle as my boyfriend and Demming as my partner or Castle as a partner and no boyfriend."

"Demming?" Lanie got it.

"Who's Demming?" Alexis came out of nowhere.

"Alexis!" Beckett was caught by surprise "Demming and I dated a while ago. Castle was the reason I ended it. You father is still jealous though".

"So my father knows about this relationship?".

"Yes, that was one of the motives he left 2 years ago, Alexis" Kate filled her in.

"Oh! That summer with Gina? I knew something was wrong".

"Anyway… your father won't agree with these terms. Either way I lose both my partner and my…" she couldn't find him a category.

"Boyfriend?" Lanie and Alexis said together.

"No, he's not my boyfriend… _yet_" Beckett blushed. She couldn't hide her smile though. "I can't tell him any of this… he's already too upset about you leaving for college".

"I know… but that's why he needs you!".

"Don't worry, Alexis, I'll come up with something."

After that Lanie showed Beckett what she discovered and let her friend go.

"Dr. Parish, can I take the day off?"

"Sure… just give Beckett a chance to talk to you dad before you do, ok?"

"Ok..." the girl was sad.

* * *

><p>Alexis got home and found her grandmother in her father's office. No sign of her dad.<p>

"Dad will give you the juju lecture again" the girl said to her grandmother.

"Oh, darling, you're home early" Her grandma came to hug her.

"Where's dad?"

"He went to take a shower. Seemed upset"

"He'll be"

"Why? What's going on?"

Alexis told her grandmother about what happened that morning. Richard overheard the entire conversation.

After the girl was finished, her grandmother started talking "Tell Dr. Parish bet 100 on today as well."

"After all I said you're still betting?"

"Believe me, darling, those two won't be able to keep their hands from each other no matter what. It's called love."

Richard stopped listening. He was numb.

"What makes you so sure?"

"You said she doesn't wanna lose him either way. I'll tell what I'm doing tonight…"

Martha invited Kate to dinner at the loft that night.

* * *

><p>Rick called Kate "We need to talk".<p>

She knew something was wrong. "Can't we do it over dinner? Your mother just invited me… I couldn't say no".

"She did, didn't she?"

"What? Why?"

"Nothing. Come on over to dinner. I'm cooking tonight."

"Sounds good to me".

They were in silent for a while, and it was bothering them both.

"You're with me, Castle?"

"Yes, Beckett, I'm here."

"Well… I have some paperwork to finish. See you in two hours?".

"Sure. I'll be waiting".

She knew right away that would be a long night.

* * *

><p>Rick went for a walk. He couldn't accept the idea of Demming taking his place as Beckett's partner, but couldn't stand not having her as his girlfriend.<p>

He lost track of time. When he realized it, he went back to the loft and found Kate by his front door.

"Hey! What are you doing outside?"

"I kept knocking but it seems nobody is home".

"What?" he was confused "I can smell dinner!"

"Weren't you cooking tonight?"

"I went for a walk and lost track of time. Sorry".

He didn't kissed her.

She didn't kissed him either.

They weren't touching each other at all.

"Aren't you going to open the door so we can come in?" She asked after a while.

"Right! The door… Come on in."

As they walked in the loft there was a romantic dinner waiting for them with a note "You wo have a lot to discuss. We're sorry but we won't be having dinner with you tonight. Love, Martha and Alexis".

"Looks like it's just you and me" he looked at her.

"Good… that's good." There was a big pink elephant in the rom with them.

They both sst to have dinner in silent.

"You do suck at dates, you know" he smiled at her.

"Sorry, I told you so. We gotta talk, Richard". She looked serious.

"I choose you" he said it before he could regret it.

"I'm sorry, what?" She was confused. "Oh… _Alexis_."

"She didn't told me... I overheard she and my mother talking. I'd rather be with you in a relationship to not have you at all again"

"But you're my partner! How can you give up on this like that?"

"If we have to make a choice… I was leaving because of the book anyway".

"What if we get you to stay as my partner and my _boyfriend_?"

"Boyfriend?"

"If the offer still stands" She was anxious.

"Yes, it does." He smiled "But what about that test drive?"

"We still have to do that".

"I got it. You want to use me for sex" he was smiling.

"I don't know that yet" She bit her lower lip.

"Well… the question remains: are you my partner or my girlfriend?"

She seated on his lap "Partner by day, girlfriend by night?"

"Works for me" he kissed her tenderly.

"We'll figure something out, right?"

"Right. But it had to be Demming?"

"I know… if I say anything Cap will think I'm promiscuous or something"

He laughed. "Yeah… that could happen. But the two of you happened a long time ago"

"Still… I have to tell her. But I can wait 'till the last minute" She kissed him.

"We're by ourselves tonight…" he was trying to get her the test drive.

"Yeah? Too bad. I'm really tired… I'll go home and take a bath"

"You can't promise things to kids and not keep your word!"

"Kids?" She couldn't stop laughing.

"You said today!"

"I said 'tomorrow' this morning!"

"Oh… that's right. Fine. Go".

" Tomorrow I'll be all yours"

She helped him with the dishes, kissed him goodbye and went home, it was 10:30pm.

It took her an hour to get home because she went to the groceries store before she went home. She took a shower instead of a bath and went to bed.

* * *

><p>She couldn't sleep. His perfume was all over the place: on her sheets, her couch, her towel. She wanted him. She desired him.<p>

So, she prepared herself to war: put on black lingerie and a light brown coat "_Some cliché will blow his mind_" she thought as she went back to his loft.

Her high heels were the only sound she could hear until she got to his loft's door.

She knocked.

He answered the door.

"It's _'tomorrow'_ already" She said and jumped into his arms.


	9. Heat

He didn't have time to think. In a reflex, when he saw Kate jump into his arms, he caught her. His body knew it was her and it reacted immediately to her touch. She tied legs around his waist. Since he was holding her by her butt, he knew what she wasn't wearing.

Every time he touched her, since the first interview, he had these shivers. Even after cuddling a whole night with her he still have this shivers running down his spine. Her perfume burned inside his lungs, her green eyes melted his ice blue eyes in a sec. Her pupils were dilated once again and her cheeks were blushing.

Her nails were marking down her territory on the back of his neck and he could feel her teeth biting his earlobe, his lips, his chin. When she licked his Adam-pommel all the way up to his mouth she had him. All of him.

He pushed her against the open door to free one of his hands bending his knees a bit to free the other in order to unbutton her coat. He knew what he was going to find underneath it and it just teased him more.

He held her again, this time with the coat open, kissing her neck and taking a good look at her black lingerie. She closed the door while kissing him and he carried her to his bedroom. By the time they passed through the kitchen, his best-seller poker buddies cough to catch their attention.

"Lingerie under a coat? So cliché…" said Connelly.

"Is this your detective Beckett, Richard?" Lehane knew the answer.

"Of course it's Kate! Who else would have known how much a cliché could do to him?" Connelly replied.

"Oh… I can see now why her alter ego it's called Nikki _Heat_" Lehane was trying to make them uncomfortable.

"Huh… Nikki, I mean, Kate, these are my…" Rick was trying to focus again.

"Best-seller poker buddies" She finished his sentence "Oh… my. This is so embarrassing". She blushed even more.

Rick let her down so she could button up her coat again. "Ii'd offer to take your coat, but..." he took a moment "Well… Kate, this is Connelly and Lehane. Gentlemen, this is detective Kate Beckett".

That was an awkward moment.

"Kate, they were just leaving"

"Doesn't look like it" She said as she saw all the chips, cards, cigars and drinks on the table.

"Because we were not" said Connelly "Come and play with us young lady".

Rick was signalizing for his poker buddies to leave bu they ignored him.

"I don't know. It's impolite to rip off all the money from _old authors_ if you're a guest" she poked them back.

"She will make you regret the invitation. She's a detective: she reads body language better than anybody" Rick gave them a heads up.

"So, detective,"

"You can call me Kate. No badge tonight."

"Fairly well… Kate, tell us something interesting about you. Rick only tell us your adventures and some things about some cases." Lehane was trying to get to Rick.

"She sucks at this, gentlemen" Rick also poked her.

"Yeah… that's true. What you guys wanna know?" She was shaking. Getting his friends approval might be tough and it was important to her.

"Don't say that to them! They are writers! They want to know everything! They will ask what they want!" Rick became worried.

"I'm used to it" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You heard the lady, Richard."

"This is gonna be a long night. Can I get you something to drink, Kate?" He asked kissing her cheek.

"Scotch. No ice" She was anxious.

"When the two of you became an item? Last week Rick still had this _sad_ look and today… well… you're here. Arriving _like that_." Connelly would go for it.

The girl was almost purple. Rick wasn't going to defend her because he knew she'd be pissed.

"I…huh… Rick gave me an incentive to clear some things in my head and so I asked him out on a date" turn the focus on him, he could deal with it.

"What kind of an incentive was that?" Lehane became interested.

"I have to write Nikki Heat's last book." Rick said looking down.

"_Oh_…" the writers said it together.

"He couldn't ask me out, so I did"

"You're changed, my friend. Before you met her you used to ask any pretty woman on a date and now you're scared of asking out the girl you like" Connelly was trying to get a smile from Kate.

"That's my fault. I made it pretty clear to him that I'd be ready for _us_ when we caught my mother's killer. He respected my wishes."

"Did you catch him?"

"No…"

"So… what's changed?"

Rick was becoming nervous with all those questions. What if they make her take a step back towards their relationship?

"_I'm_ changed. I'm choosing life for once" She said it looking into his eyes.

He couldn't screw this up. If she really is changed than he could tell her his secret, but it could change her mind again, make her go for it and get herself killed or just hate him. In the other hand, if she finds out by herself she'd never look at his face again. He needed to be sure she's really over it.

"Looks like you're both changed" said Connelly with a smile, satisfied.

Kate won the first hand. She learned her lesson the first time she played with Rick, so she played and won fairly.

Rick was starting to relax when his friends stroked again.

"So… let's play 'chapter', huh? Connelly, how would you write the chapter before the one we witnessed?" Lehane was gathering new information for Rick.

"Huh… let me see… I'd write Kate and Rick having a lovely evening and then she realized they were moving too fast (regarding the last 4 years without any action) and became insecure. She went home, thought it through. Decided to come back to his arms, but she didn't planned it, so she used the weapons available and knew that he wouldn't expect a cliché, so…"

"Yeah… but she only chose this particular cliché because she was already _comfortable_ being almost naked in front of him."

"True. But they did not had sex yet, otherwise she wouldn't come back just for that."

"Well done, you guys… _except_… I had weapons, but still I chose the cliché." She was trying to mess with their heads. They were good.

"Rick, how would you write the chapter after this poker game?" Lehane.

"I won't play this game tonight." he was trying to not embarrass Kate.

"No... This should be interesting" she was curious about how should her night had been.

"Come on, Rick. What if it was Nikki and Rook?" Connelly was pushing it.

"It's us… we already ruined your night anyway" Lehane was pushing it too.

"Fine! If it was Nikki and Rook" he took a moment "Rook would be so surprised with Nikki he would not be able to focus on anything else but her. He'd take his time though… he wanted her more than anything in the world and he'd try to make that night memorable for both of them" Rick and Kate were looking at each other's eyes and there was a sexual tension so strong between them that Rick thought it was best to drop it "And to know the rest you'll have to buy the next book"

"Kill joy" Connelly argued.

"Fine, Rick. Don't play the game. How 'bout you Kate?" Lehane invited Kate to play with them.

"Oh… _me_? I'm not a writer. I'm a simple girl who likes clichés".

"Still… how you'd like this chapter to end?" Lehane.

"Hey! That's enough. I'm gonna teach you how to behave in the presence of a lady!" Rick was pissed.

"Come on, Kate. Shut him up!" Lehane pushed her to it.

"Ok… since it's a game…"

Everybody smiled at her. Richard knew what they were trying to do and he was completely embarrassed.

"hum… I think she wouldn't let him made his way to the bedroom. They'd just go to the couch and roll down to the floor and get their business done". She kept it short.

"You _are_ a cliché girl!" Connelly laughed.

"It's what sells books, though" Lehane smiled at her.

"Why the rush?" Rick was intrigued that he was the one trying to think of a special night.

"Too much tension, you know? Between Nikki and Rook"

"I see…" he continued "but the very first night? Just like that?"

"Nikki was hoping for a wild flashes… not a movie scene."

He got it. She did had a wild side after all.

"How wild?" His imagination already took off.

She raised one eybrow. "You have no idea…"

"Oh, Richard. If you don't keep her, we will." Lehane poked them.

"Rick… she owns you." Connelly was just messing with his head.

"Yeah… I told her that already" Rick winked to Kate.

She won so many times that the writers gave up and left the two of them alone at his loft.

* * *

><p>"Nice guys…" Kate said giggling.<p>

"Yeah… sorry about that. They only did it because..."

"They care about you. Don't worry. I didn't took it personal"

"Thank you"

"Thank me? I took all your money! From all of your friends"

"And thanks for _that too_. I was wondering…"

"Don't say strip poker."

"But…" how could she knew?

"It's even more cliché tan a coat and lingerie, Rick" She was making fun of him.

"Still… it's what sells books…"

"Speaking of books…" She put her right foot between his legs on the chair, pressing her knee on his chest. He could see her entire leg naked, and even a small piece of her panties.

"_Kate_…" He was begging. She wanted him to beg.

"Not Kate… _Nikki_." As she said it she recognized his face: no focus whatsoever.

His left hand touched her ankle, then her calf, her shin... He kissed her knee. His hand slid up to her groin. He got his focus back. He'd never got this far before. So close to her.

He saw her leg shiver with his touch. He watched it come and go and then gave her a naughty look.

She blushed… she really didn't want him to know how much he affects her but her body disagreed.

He now kissed her thigh 3 inches above his last kiss and got an inch closer with his hand. A new shiver wave washed her body and Rick watched it proudly. He held her thigh and got up leading Kate to the poker table and sat her on it.

She wanted to push him back and let him know who was in charge but he lied her down between kisses and caresses. He'd spread her legs and her heels were using the table as support. She could feel his arousal pressing down her thigh. He opened her coat with one movement ripping its entire buttons off. Her stomach muscles contracted when she felt his hands touching her bare skin.

* * *

><p><strong>here's the thing... the next chapter it's 18+. <strong>**Be aware of that.**

**It's done but I'll wait a couple days to post it though... and I'm not sure I'll post it the way it is now. I might cut some parts... it really is 18+. **

**I'll just wait to read you reviews, ok?**


	10. Tonight is the night

**Well... I rated this story as T, so here you'll find the shorter version of their first night together. If you want to read the full scene go to my stories and read **_**Heat **_**(it's rated M for a very good reason, beware).**

**Thank you very much for the reviews so far...**

* * *

><p>They were fighting over control.<p>

It took her all her strength to fight her own will and body to push him away.

She managed to do it. She pushed him away using her hands and, using her right high-heel, she ripped his shirt open.

"You do know how to use your tools, huh?" He was still looking at her heel and his shirt amazed. She smiled.

With the other leg she pulled him back tying it around his waist. She unbuttoned his belt and his pants, but left the zipper untouched. He made her lie down again pushing her with his forefinger on her lips. She sucked his finger while she tied both legs around him. He couldn't focus: his breathing became irregular and his heartbeat was racing.

"_Something wrong, Ricky_? 2x1. I'm winning" She asked him with a sexy look.

"I… huh… I". As soon as he reestablished himself from the shivers she gave him, he thought it was payback time.

He took that very same finger and rubbed it down her breasts, her bellybutton, over her panties and finally, when he saw the shivers all over her body he decided it was time to play.

She felt it and bit her lip. He'd tied the game 2x2. He kissed her deeply while his fingers played with her body. Her moan got lost in his mouth and her body wasn't responding to her commands. She liked it. She liked how he took over control and made her obey. He felt her entire body to contract by the touch of his fingers. He owned her. Right there.

He managed to open her bra with one hand and then he just stopped everything he was doing.

"What?" She asked breathless.

"I'm just… huh… appreciating the view"

"Did you take a good look?"

"Oh, yeah…"

"Great... Now, get back here"

He couldn't believe in his ears. She actually said she wanted to feel him again. He caressed and kissed her body like it was the first and the last time he'd do it. Tender and eager at the same time. Slowly he slide down her panties and found himself down to his knees. It was time to his tongue do its magic.

He could feel her impatience for more and more, he could feel her pulse already. He kissed her feet tenderly while taking off her boots.

"Rick…"

"If you want it, you gotta ask for it."

"Oh… you wish. You'll ask for it soon enough" She was pissed. Dangerous like a loaded gun.

She sat down and opened his zipper dropping his pants on the floor. He finished taking his shirt off and she did the same with the coat. He had only his boxers on and it wasn't enough to hold his erection. She had nothing left on. It didn't seem to bother her at all. This girl was focused. He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him. He needed to feel her. She definitely was feeling him, and his pulse.

With her feet on his chest she pushed him away. She got up, kissed him and tasted herself on his mouth. She liked it. She loved it. She pushed him to the couch and touched him over his boxers. She took the boxers off using her teeth.

"What are you looking for?" He needed her back quickly.

"Ice cubes" she said with a really naughty smile.

"Ice… cubes? _Oh_! _The_ ice cubes!" His focus wasn't coming back anymore. She hits, she scores.

Between ice cubes and her tongue, his body gave in to all the shivers she caused on him. Suddenly she stopped. He knew damn well why, he was just hoping for her to don't see it. She licked his pre-cum, raised her body on his, letting him feel her body caressing his and whispered in his ear "You taste _good_" with a sexy voice.

It was enough. He grabbed her and they fell on the hardwood floor. He was on top and didn't think twice: he wanted her.

"Say you don't want this" He whispered in her ear.

She bit her lip. She did want him. She rolled on top of him and teased him. Their movements were intense and the fight over control took place again. She liked him on control and he liked when she was. She immobilized him.

"You're evil" he said.

"Beg"

"No way" he just let her think she had him down and rolled on top of her. He kissed her like he never ever had kissed anyone before. "You beg" he broke their link.

"No…" she fought hard to pull him back to her. She couldn't. Her eyes were mean and made him wonder not to piss her off ever. She gave up "ok".

"Ok what?"

"Come on, Rick!"

"I didn't heard you say it"

She bit his lower lip, looked into his eyes. They weren't mean: they were heat. She whispered "I want you".

Afterwards, exhausted by the intensity of their orgasms, they took a bath.

"Something is wrong with my back" He said as he cuddled with her on the tub "It's burning!".

"Sorry about that" she said and showed her fingernails as an explanation.

"You're not sorry" He couldn't see her face though he just knew.

"No, I'm not…" she confessed.

"You actually sound proud!" He was surprised.

"Yeah… I am. Very proud. You should be too, you know" She was biting her lower lip.

"I _am_" he sounded cocky and she liked it.

Although they burned some steam, the sexual tension between them wasn't gone at all. There was a whole new level of teasing waiting for them and they just loved it.

They went to bed and slept in a way that was impossible to know where he began and where she ended. Their bodies belonged to each other. There was this force tying them together all night.

The next morning she woke up first and watched him sleeping for a bit. Then she felt it.

She knew it had been a wild night but that was unbelievable. She got up and felt her body ache. Her back and elbows were hurt, her knees had bruises. She was trying to remember how she got all of those bruises. She did remember some of them and enjoyed the memories from the night before.

She had bit marks, light ones, on her breasts and thighs. She couldn't believe it even seeing them in the mirror. She had bruises of 4 fingers each side of her hips and some outside her thighs. "Great souvenirs…" She said it out loud trying, and failing, to remember them.

"I'm sorry… I hurt you last night" he was awake.

"Don't be" she bit her lower lip "wait 'till you see what I did to you".

He rushed to see it. She did some damage.

"Your bites pierced my skin!" He was shocked because he didn't remember any of them. She had bitten his butt, his thigh, his chest and his neck.

The scratches crossed his back and her nails pierced his flesh on his butt and his nape. His wrists and his knees were hurt. He had a pretty bad backache.

"It _was_ wild" he wondered with himself.

"In deed." She said as she hugged him from behind and leaned her head on his back. "I love you". She said it and he turned to kiss her deeply.

"I love you too".

"Oh _God_!" suddenly it hit her.

"What?" he had a peaceful smile on his face.

"You didn't used a condom." She looked serious.

"No… why?" It hit him too "… pills?" he was numb.

"Nope…wasn't planning it" She couldn't breathe.

"Damn it!"

"Fuck, Castle!" She was mad "This can't be happening"

"Hey… it's ok. I'd wanna a baby with you"

"It's NOT ok and I'm not pregnant, ok! Let's not bring up babies."

"They'd be cute… but they must have _my_ temper"

"I'm not kidding, Castle"

"Neither am I…" he went to kiss her.

"I'm serious! It's _basic stuff!_ How could we let it happen?"

"I can tell you _exactly_ how…" Castle was back. "Take a pregnancy test and stop worrying about it, Kate."

"We have to wait a few days to do it…"

"So, we'll wait. Don't worry. I'm sure you're not..."

"Don't worry? Oh God… this really can't be happening. Not to me" She was pissed at herself. At him. She was scared.

"We'll work it through. Come here. Just so you know…" He was trying to comfort her.

"Don't you dare say it"

"Got it… you're grumpy in the morning"

He kissed her.

She kissed him back.


	11. Nothing comes free

They were both numb and trying to hide it though.

"So, I guess Ryan won the bet, huh?" Castle was going for small talk.

"What bet?" Kate knew it was interrogation time.

"What?"

"Castle… don't make me ask again"

"The guys, you know… there was a bet." She was frightening him.

"What did they bet?" She had him hypnotized.

"I'm feeling like one of your suspects"

"Castle!"

"You… you know. How long it would take us to get where we got last night."

"It was already today, Castle"

"Oh.. _Right_!" He had a cocky smile on his face.

"Who bet?" She was really mad.

"Everyone… Even my mother and Alexis"

"Damn it, Castle! We had a deal: to sabotage their bets!"

"There was nothing I could do! You came here yesterday looking like this and doing what you were doing…" He lost himself with this memory.

"Castle!"

"Huh?" He was back.

"So… what's our plan?"

"What plan?" He seemed lost.

"Castle, focus!"

He grabbed an apple and took a bite. "It's really hard to focus when you are on your underwear in my living room" he paused "Specially this lingerie and this room". He was being honest in a Castle way.

She got that. It was a new situation. Speaking of new situations… "How many orgasms did you have last night?" She was serious like she was doing math. It was kind of a doubt.

He choked. He wasn't expecting that one. "Huh… I… I believe your count is accurate. Plus one, after you left the tub" He said looking down.

"After I left the tub?" She was interested.

"Yeah… I mean… you _were_ rubbing yourself on me…" He was embarrassed.

"Are you serious?" She bit her lip.

"Why?" He was suspicious.

"That's kinda hot…"

"Really?" She got him there.

"Yeah…" She went to kiss him "But… if you had 3 with me"

"I know… Bad day to be reckless"

"Yeah… it only takes one swimmer."

"And my swimmers are _good_…"

"I bet they are…" She lost herself again in her thoughts.

"It'll be fine, really"

"I know" She was looking down.

"Kate, I…" He didn't know what to say but he knew what she was feeling. He had been there before: when Meredith got pregnant of Alexis. Of course, that went well… he turned out to be a single parent. It was a wonderful experience but it was a eighteen-year commitment.

"Would you want more children?"

"Not really… no" he took a moment "but I'd want your children". He was surprised with himself: he really did want that.

"That's sweet… why just Alexis?"

"Well… because I didn't found you before to have more"

"Castle, you don't have to say all this."

"I mean it, Kate. Every single word."

"Ok, fine… but I'm not pregnant."

"What about you?"

"What, what about me?"

"Do you want children?"

"I used to… but after my mom's…" she took a moment "I never thought of that again." She could use her mom right now. "I… I just don't know how to fit a child in my life today…" she paused "but if it happens, I'm glad it's gonna be a tiny Castle". She gave him a shy smile and took his hand.

He kissed her deeply. She was the one.

"But again… I'm not pregnant"

"_Yet_." He was mocking her.

She threw a cushion at his face but didn't argue.

"I need to go… change my clothes, take a shower…"

"Can I come?"

"No… there's no way you're arriving with me at the precinct."

"With these marks on my neck? We don't need to arrive together… they'll know."

"You have a point. Come on. But I'm not waiting you shower. Take a spare change of clothes. Come on!"

"Does that mean I'll shower with you?"

"I'm so gonna regret this…"

"_Definitely_."

"Hurry, before I change my mind".

* * *

><p>He was excited like a five-year-old on an amusement park.<p>

Suddenly he told the cab driver to stop.

"Castle, I'm gonna be late!"

He ran into a drugstore and came back in less than two minutes with a big bag.

"Castle, _what the hell_?"

"We were out of supplies" He said like it was a natural thing to do.

"What supplies?" She took the bag from him.

She blushed.

"Don't say we don't need this"

"Castle, it had to be a giant box of condoms?" she whispered mad "and two of them?". She couldn't be more embarrassed.

"One to my place and another to yours"

"And there's like 15 pregnancy tests here"

"There are 20. So you can be sure" It was natural to him.

"I'll never have enough pee for this!" She couldn't believe him. It was kind of sweet, though.

"Hey! I'd pee for you if I could"

"Funny boy…" She had those mean eyes again. .

"You have to wait 2 weeks to take these tests?" He was reading one packing-case.

"Yeah… now put it back!" She was becoming purple.

The cab driver looked through the rear view mirror and smiled at them. They were fighting whispering.

* * *

><p>They arrived at her apartment and Rick started spreading the condoms all over the place: in the coffee table's drawer, the bathroom, the bedside table and even in the kitchen. She couldn't believe him.<p>

"I'll take a shower. I'd tell you to make yourself at home… but apparently you already are" She was still numb.

He smiled. How could he do that? She was thrilled. That smile makes her day worth everything. Every day. She smiled back.

"You coming?" She put out her hand. He took it and quickly reached for a condom.

She stared at him. "It's just a shower, Castle"

"Can't blame a guy for trying" He put it back.

They have these moments when they belong to each other without hesitate. It used to make them wonder why they weren't together but now they just disconnect from the rest of the world. This was one of those moments.

He could tell though that her mind and her body weren't on the same page. Every inch of her body made him wonder if it was really her there with him.

She couldn't stop thinking how she got there. 3 days ago he was her partner from whom she was keeping a secret because she wasn't ready to what she is living now; she confessed her love to him , admitted it to her friends, had amazing sex with him and just for that she might be pregnant. Plus: he was leaving in one month and now Cap wants him gone in two weeks, that if Kate wants to have a relationship with him.

He was washing her hair.

"That's good. Where did you learn this? Wait. Do I wanna know that?"

"Hey! Did you take a look at my daughter's hair? She always had long hair. When she was little I used to wash her hair, do it and dry it later. She was picky. I had to do it right."

"That's sweet"

"Yeah… if I did it right the first time"

"Why?"

"She'd say 'daddy! You're doing it on purpose… I can't go out looking like this. Do it right"

"How old was she?" Kate was laughing picturing Castle combing Alexis's hair.

"She was 5. She was right… I did enjoy seeing her becoming bossy"

"I can't think of her being bossy"

"She was… with her hair" These memories were priceless.

"Well… you did learn how to do it right. You didn't even drop shampoo on my eyes"

"Yeah… I'm almost a hair dresser"

"I can get used to this"

"Are you saying you want to keep me because of my gifts?"

"No…" she looked at him "I'm saying I'm keeping you".

"oh… right." He was being annoying "You had you test drive"

"Yes, I did…" she had this naughty look.

"And how did you like the car?"

"It's powerful, really economic, you know? Several miles per liter. Hum… it's easy to drive, easy to park. Easy to wash…"

"I'm not that easy!"

She passed the sponge bath on him slowly… caressing this body with it.

"'kay… I might bit a bit easy"

"A bit?" She laughed. She pushed him against the shower wall and kissed him. They were slippery because of the soap, so quickly this became a game. No one could grab anyone. They were having a good time.

He cornered her and stole a kiss.

She had that look again: she wanted him but she was fighting it. He didn't push her to do anything. She's scared and he got it. She needed space but he was afraid of her running away again from him, from them.

"Castle…" She was fighting her body. Her mouth said things and her body did the opposite.

"Kate, you're confusing me" He whispered almost giving in to her caresses.

"Don't think" she kissed him.

"I can work with that" he said as he kissed her back.

"We can't… I gotta get to work… there's the traffic…" She wouldn't let him go, though.

"What do I do?" He wanted her, badly, but she'd blame him if he just correspond her body.

She kissed him and her hands were driving him crazy. "You're killing me here… please stop" he begged whispering within shivers.

"You're right… this is a bad idea" She ran from the shower.

"_I'm right_? What?" He was confused and pissed "You said… I didn't want to push… You said!" He turned off the shower "_Damn it_!" He'd just realized nothing comes free: they were in a relationship. Like a real one. He never knew this side of her and she didn't know his.

She was lost between fear, doubt, happiness and passion. What if he wasn't ready for all of that?

"Kate" he touched her shoulder "we need to talk 'bout this".

"There's nothing to talk about, Rick. It is what it is." She was getting aggressive.

He could see fear in her eyes.

"I'm your boyfriend and I'm saying we have to talk".

"What about?" She was trying to get to his nerves. She was succeeding.

"Us. Me. You. This possible pregnancy".

"No… we won't talk about any of that. I just need some time and space"

She was having a panic attack.

"Don't you give me this 'I need some time' shit again! You get as much space as you can have in a relationship! You don't have to be scared of having sex again…"

"Why not? Look at where it brought us!"

"Fearing it won't make any pregnancy go away. Not now. We don't even know if you are pregnant, Kate"

"You want it to be nothing, right?"

"No, I don't"

"So you want it?"

"I want what you want. If you want to have a baby, my baby, I'll want it too. If you don't, we won't."

"It's not about choice anymore, Rick! This already happened!"

"Yes it did. We did it. _Together_. And we'll face it together." He hugged her tight. She corresponded.

"I can't, Rick… I can't have a baby now. Look at my life."

"Do you think you can't fit half baby into your life?"

"I guess… why half?"

"I'll take the other half. Or ¾… whatever that works for you."

"You're saying this now because Alexis is leaving and you're sad! It won't be a replacement"

"I am a father. I know what is waiting for us. I know how much time and care a baby demands. You don't. So don't say I'm only saying it without feeling it!" He took a moment. She did hit a nerve "Here's what I remember from last night: I made love to my girlfriend for the very first time and it was pure passion. I never had a night like that before. It takes away my breath just by thinking of touching you and if we made a baby last night, that child will be made with the best of you. Because you're my best part. I love you and I cannot not love a tiny you."

"I'm not ready to be a mother" She started crying.

"No, you're not. You'll never be. That's why they born so cute and we love them. It make us give them our very best."

"Now you sound like my father"

"Yeah… you'll sound like your mother too, don't worry." He softned his voice and kissed her forehead.

It really calmed her down. Thinking of how she can hold on to her mother's memory in a different way.

"What if it's a tiny you?" Her voice was insecure.

"Then you'll gave a big problem… and a tiny one".

She smiled.

Mission accomplished.

"I still can't forgive myself. How could I just forget something that basic?"

"Hey… come here. You weren't the only one who forgot it. You can give to me half of your guilty conscience"

"You don't have a conscience"

"Then you should give me all of it…"

They laughed.

"So… I'm your girlfriend?"

He looked into her eyes, wiping her tears.

"You said you're gonna keep me"

"I meant for sex"

"Wow! Tiger… I like that"

"If I end up on page 6, I swear…"

"Got it"

"I don't think you did" She was serious.

He kissed her.

"'kay… you did."

She thought it was best for both of them if they didn't show up. She called in sick. She couldn't chase bad guys feeling like crap because of a wild night.


	12. Suspicious behavior

"Yo, what's up?" Esposito and Ryan arrived at the crime scene.

"Nothing interesting, actually. Where's detective Beckett and my father?" Alexis jumped ahead and said before Lanie could say anything.

"What she said" dr. Parish said it to reinforce.

"They're acting weird lately. She said she was feeling sick and preferred to leave this for us" Ryan was taking notes while he explained their absence at the crime scene.

"Yeah… what's up with them?" Esposito didn't get his friends weirdness for the last days.

"I don't know… a few days ago they had a major fight over coffee." Ryan thought it was time to share.

"Over coffee?" Lanie was interested.

"Yeah… Castle arrived with her coffee and his and gave her one of them…

_She thanked him with a smile, took a sip, and almost immediately spit it out. It looked like he was already expecting her reaction and didn't say a word while she analyzed the cup of coffee trying to figure it out. Beckett was mad." _

"I hope my father didn't let her try one of his experiments… some of them are disgusting" Alexis came up with a possible explanation.

Ryan kept telling them what happened "No… you see… Becket wanted to throw her coffee back at your father …

"_What is this, Castle?" she asked Castle._

"_It's __**your**__ coffee, Beckett." _

"_This shit is decaf, Castle! I need my coffee!" _

"_You can't, not until we get the tests results"._

_She wanted to kill him. "Know what? I can get my own coffee!". _And She went to the break room." Ryan was interrupted.

"What?" Lanie, Alexis and Esposito didn't got it.

"I thought the same thing, so I tried to hear what they were saying" he stopped: Lanie and Alexis were giving him their disapproval look. "Ok… I won't say it…" he teased them.

"Bro, you're already kneeling. Prey." Esposito was dying of curiosity.

"Fine… I came closer and she closed the door." Everybody was giving the disapproval look now "_But_… I still could see what they were doing…

_She was about to drink her espresso when Castle took the cup from her hand and they started a fight. She was point her finger at him and Castle was fine, keeping it cool and he then said something. Suddenly she stopped yelling at him and took the coffee he had brought to her and took another sip. Then he took a sip. He did the same face he did when he took his first sip of the precinct coffee. _…and then they just became quiet." Ryan finished his story.

"Why would he give her decaf coffee?" Alexis was wondering.

"You think it has something to do with her calling sick, what, 10 days ago?" Esposito was trying to connect the dots.

"Actually, it was the very same day after she called in sick" Ryan specified.

"What do you think, dr. Parish?" Alexis needed an explanation.

"Well, if she has a stomach ulcer it could explain the abstinence of caffeine, but would have some other symptoms like dizziness and weakness, avoid alcohol as well and take better care of her alimentation" Lanie was describing the symptoms hoping her friends witnessed something else.

"She is eating almost every meal at the loft" Alexis was almost asking if that information was useful.

"What do you mean?" Got Lanie's attention.

"Well… Dad prepares their lunch and takes it to the station with him and when she doesn't eats at the loft he eats at her apartment, but always takes food to cook" Alexis was finally getting it out of her chest.

"Makes sense… Beckett doesn't have food at home. Always order in… which is not healthy at all" Lanie was filling some blanks.

"Yeah… Dad always takes with him healthy food, actually."

"Huh… Beckett does seem a bit healthier, don't you guys noticed?" Esposito witnessed some things too "Although she definitely acts like she is sick or something".

"Why do you say that?" Lanie asked him.

"At a crime scene, two or three days ago, she was examining the body before we called the coroner's office, she was crouched and when she got up, she felt dizzy. Castle almost didn't hold her in time. He helped her get to the car. She took a seat and they started a fight. I figured it was because she didn't want to call an ambulance or go home. She seemed pretty sure of what she wanted. After a few moments she got back to the dead body."

Everyone was in silent trying to remember anything out of the ordinary to help.

"She felt dizzy? Now that you brought that up, on our girls night, some days ago, she didn't drink at all. We were talking, and usually she'd have a beer or a drink, but she said she couldn't and, since we were talking 'bout me, she didn't bother to explain why. I thought she might be on duty a bit later or so" Lanie added a new fact to their imaginary whiteboard.

"Beckett didn't have a drink? That's weird! She took me down several times. This girl knows how to drink. You know… Beckett is kinda being a bitch every now and then. But I figured it might be because of the decaf. She's snapping at everybody" Esposito knew something was definitely wrong.

"Well… there was this one time Beckett came in for breakfast and she didn't eat anything. She said she was nauseous" Alexis figured it might not be an ulcer at all. Lanie did too.

"Well… if she didn't said anything it means she isn't sure what she has. Ryan you said Castle said something about a test result?"

"Yeah… every time they start a fight now he brings that up." Ryan explained.

"So… let's give them a few more days" Lanie was trying to end the conversation.

Everybody agreed and went to do their jobs.

Alexis, though, wasn't convinced; she thought Lanie was hiding information.

"Why are you covering for them?"

"What? Who?" Lanie thought Alexis might know something too.

"Detective Beckett and my dad" The girl was direct.

"Oh… a had some doubts but now you…" Lanie was interrupted.

"…I don't know anything. What makes you think I do?" Alexis was confused;

"What makes _you_ think _I_ know something?" Lanie was suspicious.

"Well… you're detective Beckett's best friend… if she'd say anything to anybody, it would be you" Alexis was fishing.

"And you're your father's daughter. If somebody should know anything, it would be you… who live at the same house as he." Lanie was fishing too.

"I don't know anything. They're weird. Nobody's drinking coffee anymore, she is eating at the loft almost every day…"

"She is acting sick but is eating healthier and not drinking alcohol anymore. And there's the mood swings…"

"And the morning nauseous…"

"Oh God!"

"No way!"

The girls figured it out.

"What now?" Alexis didn't know what to do.

"The way I know Beckett, she won't say a word 'till she get a pregnancy test. We shouldn't push her or your father… it's already stressful enough to wait for the test results"

"But I might have a brother or a sister on his/her way!"

"Trust me… it will be better to leave them alone with this. If they thought it might be good news, they'd share. I think it's an accident."

"Ew! A pretty big one!"

"But… all the symptoms…"

"Right! There's no doubt."

"Let's not jump into conclusions."

"'kay…"

"So… who you think won the bet?"

"Oh… I don't think I wanna know anymore." She was getting nauseous herself now.


	13. Nothing remains a secret

"For Christ's sakes, Castle! I need to eat junk food. I can't even think of carrots anymore!"

"You're pregnant, you have to eat right"

"I've said it to you a thousand times: I'm not pregnant!"

"You're feeling nauseous in the mornings, have experienced dizziness, you're pregnant!"

"I'm not pregnant, Castle! Damn it!"

"Well… tomorrow you'll see I'm right"

"Drop it. Don't you even look at those carrots!"

"Why? Suddenly you can't stand carrots?" He was suspicious.

"No, Castle. I'm just not a _rabbit_. Can we at least order a pizza?" She went to her bed.

It's been a nightmare for two weeks days now.

She wondered how she got there. Again. Castle was leaving, and she didn't want that. Now he won't leave and it's driving her crazy.

He followed her.

"Are we skipping dinner?" He lied next to her.

"We can't have sex" She meant it.

"Come on! It's been two weeks days since we did it. A man has needs, you know"

"You have your hands. Two of them, actually. Deal with it using your hands, Castle." She was mean. "I'm sorry, Rick… I'm under a lot of pressure"

"You're pregnant… I've been there before. Those mood swings? It's a sign" He sounded like he wanted to be spanked.

"Really? I do own a gun, you remember that, right?"

"Which flavor do you prefer?"

* * *

><p>After the pizza he tried once again.<p>

"Can you give me one good reason to not have sex again?"

"You think I don't want to? It's killing me. But…"

"….but?" He sounded desperate.

"But if I can't eat junk food you don't get what you want either!"

"Are we back at this? You just ate pizza!" He wondered where their sex tension went to.

"I told you already. I'm not pregnant"

"You're showing all the symptoms!"

"You're creating them!"

"How can I create your mood swings? It's the pregnancy hormones!"

"I can tell you right now how _you_ create this mood swings, Castle!" She was pissed.

"Try me".

"I might just do that".

As she said it, she grabbed him and kissed him deeply.

"You see, these are hormones but not the ones you're talking about".

She stepped away from him.

"_Please_" his eyes were sincere.

"What?" Hers were pure love.

"You know _what_…"

"Yes, I do…"

"So?" he had hope.

"We can't. It's tomorrow already" She enjoyed that much power.

She sat on his lap and started teasing him slowly.

"You'll drive me crazy";

"I'm glad we're on the same page" She whispered in his ear. Then, lightly, bit his earlobe.

She moaned.

"You're mean…" Rick whispered.

"We should go to bed"

"_Absolutely_… it would be nice to try it on the bed for a change"

"Not for that" she rolled her eyes.

"_Frustration comes in so many levels_…" He said in disbelief.

* * *

><p>Castle and Beckett arrived together the next morning, already fighting.<p>

"Why do you don't want to take the damn test?" Castle was serious.

"I don't have to."

"You have to".

"No, I don't!"

"Yes you do. It's not just about you!"

"Can we discuss this latter?"

"No!"

"Debrief room, now".

They went to the same room Castle and Beckett went through his mail on their very first case.

Esposito and Ryan were just observing carefully.

Alexis showed up and found nobody at their desks. Not even Esposito and Ryan.

She looked for them and finally found the boys. They were sneak peeking her father's and Beckett's fight.

As she came closer, she heard Esposito saying "Mom and dad are fighting again. Can't be good".

"Mom and dad?" Immediately she felt betrayed like they've told everybody about the pregnancy but her.

"Alexis! What are you doing here?" Ryan was surprised.

"I got Dr. Parish's report on the victim from the robbery." She handed the report to Ryan and busted in the room where her father and Beckett were fighting.

"Can somebody tell me why I'm the only person who didn't know about this pregnancy?"

"What are you talking about? Who knows?" Beckett was intrigued.

"Alexis, it's not what you think…"

"Save it, dad" She rushed away from there with tears in her eyes.

"Now can we go to a doctor and take the test?"

"I already did it."

"You did the test without telling me?"

"Yes, I did it, do you want to know the results?"

"How could you keep this from me?"

"I went to the doctor two days ago, he took some of my blood and send to analysis…"

"Cut the crap. You knew this whole time you weren't pregnant" He too felt betrayed and walked away.

"I don't know the results yet."

He stopped.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm supposed to find out today. I have an appointment and was hoping you could come with me" She said it looking down, afraid of getting a no.

"You really don't know?"

"You think I'd keep eating carrots if I did?" She smiled.

"Alexis…" He was asking to go find her.

"Go."

"Really?"

"Be back at 10 a.m. … if you don't show up here by that time I'll go by myself."

"I'll be here" He said and rushed away looking for his daughter.

* * *

><p>She went back to her desk and felt like she was being observed. "Stop it."<p>

"Girl, that was a lot to digest without an explanation, you know…"

"Javi, you know me well enough…"

"… to know you don't share. My ass!"

"Esposito! It's none of anybody's business"

"I want to be the godfather!" He said with a smile.

She smiled back "I'm not pregnant"

"Since we're talking about this…"

"Don't."

"It wouldn't hurt just say it"

"Javi"

"You're having pregnancy tests, girl! You both did it, we just want to know…"

"Ryan"

"What? I didn't do anything! I'm quiet… right here" Ryan had a goosebump.

"Ryan?" Javi got it.

"Yep."

"Are you sure?" Esposito couldn't believe it.

"Oh, yeah… believe me._ I'm sure_." Beckett said with a kinky smile.

"Hey! What did I do?" Ryan still didn't get it.

"You won the bet, _bro_" Esposito left to grab a cup of espresso.

"I won the bet?" A smile formed in his mouth and as soon his eyes met hers, he dropped that smile instantly.

"_See? Now it's better_" She wanted to laugh of his face so badly… but couldn't let this become a joke. It was already a bet. And… It could be her son's or her daughter's 'creation'.

* * *

><p>Before she could deal with the truth, she had an appointment with Dr. Burke.<p>

"Wasn't sure I'd see you again"

"Yeah… I'm sorry. I missed a couple appointments…" Her voice was sweet.

"So, what happened?"

"Oh… I wouldn't know where to begin"

"The date. Did you cancel it?"

"No… I almost did. But I realized it would never happen if I didn't give it a shot."

"And did it go well?"

"Actually it did."

"And... Did you kiss him?"

"Yep."

"And?"

"We kissed. We stopped kissing. We went to his apartment so he could change… and I…"

"You what?"

"I showed him my scars" She could live that moment again as she spoke.

"And did you talk about it?"

"I finally did it."

"Did what, Kate?"

"I told him what they represent to me and I told him how I felt about 'im."

"It must have been a great date" He smiled.

"You were right. I was ready for that"

"He wasn't mad I kept it from him. I thought he'd be hurt, or he'd changed his mind"

"But he waited for you"

"Yes, he did. We had sex"

"You don't have to give me that many details"

She smiled "I won't. It's just that something happened"

"When you were having sex?"

"Well… kind of?"

"You're asking me?"

"It dit. We were irresponsible, reckless. Stupid"

"In love"

"Yeah! Teenager irresponsibility."

"I'm not following"

"We didn't use protection, I wasn't on pills…"

"Oh. So, are you pregnant?"

"I don't think so, no"

"What then?"

"Castle thinks I am. He said I'm showing all the symptoms… and every time he says it I doubt my instincts who tells me I'm not"

"Are you showing the symptoms?"

"I might be… yes, I am… but"

"Did you take the blood test?"

"Yes, I'm supposed to get the results in two hours."

"I see. What does it changes?"

"Everything!"

"What?"

"My relationship with him. I haven't been able to have sex since that night and it would affect my work, my career; he's famous so it should affect my social life, my body, my freedom…"

"There's options"

"I couldn't do that just for my benefit. Castle should have a say"

"He wants this child?"

"Hey! Wow! I'm not pregnant!"

"You don't know that"

"They say a mother always knows"

"But you're not a mother"

"That's right! I'm not. That's exactly why I know for sure I'm not".

He took a moment.

"If you don't want to be pregnant…"

"I never said that"

"You just named several reasons for why you shouldn't have a child"

"It doesn't mean I don't want this baby"

"So now you think you're pregnant?"

"No! You're confusing me!" She looked fragile like a lost puppy.

"I could tell you the same thing" His head was spinning.

"I've been through a lot lately"

"So I can see"

"Castle is driving me crazy because he's sure I'm pregnant, I want him to be right, but I don't feel the same way. I don't want to have sex again 'till we know it for sure"

"Why, Kate?"

"Because I'm afraid I might do something stupid enough to give him real hopes"

"But you haven't done it"

"I know I can't. It's been two long weeks." She started to cry "He don't let me drink coffee or alcohol, he's preparing all my meals. I can't even think of healthy food anymore. He won't leave my side for anything"

"You're afraid he's going away if you're not pregnant?"

"He's driving me crazy trying to control my life, trying so badly to be a part of it. I don't know how to tell him I like having him around despite he drives me crazy with that, and the thing I know he'd want the most would be a child."

"But you might be pregnant"

"What if I'm not? I thought having a baby now would ruin my life and in two weeks it became the center of our lives… what will be left without it?"

"Kate, you can't suffer because of the unknown. You set yourself free of death. All these feelings that are suffocating you will pass. It's life letting you know you're alive. Embrace it."

"How?" She wiped her tears.

"You'll know what to do. There's a part of you desperate to live, it will show you the way".

She wasn't not a bit less anxious about the blood test results. In fact, it made her ever more nervous.


	14. Unexpected

**I'm sorry. The anonymous reviews are enabled again. It was disabled by mistake… I'm anonymous myself, so I'm the last one to judge. Really sorry about that, Bishop, and everybody else. **

**Thanks for all the reviews, I really enjoy reading them. **

**And... remember that sex scene that should be 18+ and it's not? The real 18+ version I published a few days ago. Go to my stories and read _Heat. _The first chapter is already there_. _It's rated M for a very good reason, so be aware of that. **

**I should update this soon. **

* * *

><p>Beckett had just arrived home from the therapist's office. She took off her badge, her gun, her mother's ring and her father's watch and put it on the coffee table so she could take a shower.<p>

She heard someone knocking.

"Alexis!" Kate was surprised "Is your father with you?"

"No, I'm alone" She sounded upset.

"Well, come in… what can I do for you?" She was hoping Castle had already talked to her.

"I'm leaving tomorrow"

"I know" Kate's voice was soft and understanding.

"I know I have no right to ask you this, but I need to know before I go…"

"Alexis… let's have a girls talk, ok?"

"Ok…"

"I don't know if I'm pregnant. I think I am, you father thinks so too, and…"

"And you couldn't just say so? I mean, dr. Parish and I figured it out but we respected your silence"

"Lanie knows? Great…" Kate buried her face into her hands.

"My father don't keep things from me, that's a rule"

"It's my fault. I asked him to 'till we're sure"

"And? Why Esposito called you and my dad 'mom and dad'?"

"Oh… that's what happened? I have no idea why he said that… it was probably a joke, sweetie"

"Oh my gosh!" Alexis blushed "I'm so sorry! I told everybody your secret without even knowing it! What have I done?"

"Hey… it's ok. I handled the boys… no need to worry, ok?"

"I… I…"

"Alexis, sweetie, it was an accident and we will find out the truth today. In fact, I better get going… meet you dad"

"Oh… Right… can I have a glass of water?"

"Sure… I'll get it for you"

Kate went to the kitchen and Alexis soon followed her. She was agitated and kate thought it was because of the pregnancy.

"Do you want a brother or a sister?"

"None. Never wanted a brother or a sister"

"Oh" Kate didn't know what to say.

"Because…" Alexis smiled "raising my dad and grandma was enough."

Kate smiled.

"I'm relieved now that you're here…" Alexis continued.

"Why is that?"

"Because you're responsible. I might have a brother or a sister and you'll be here to raise the baby, my dad and my grandma while I can go crazy at college!" She gave a hug on Kate.

Beckett's expression was priceless. She never thought of that: raise a Castle and the rest of the Castles too.

"Anyway, when you see my dad, tell him everything is good to go?"

"Su… sure"

Alexis left in a hurry.

"Are _all_ the Castles weird?" Kate thought.

* * *

><p>Beckett was sitting on her desk waiting for Castle.<p>

He showed up "Sorry, I just met Alexis downstairs, I'm a bit late"

"Castle, come on! We're gonna be late!" She poked him. Since Alexis met her father, Kate saw no point in delivering the message "She stopped by my apartment an hour ago… was acting weird, actually"

"Huh…"

"Yeah… I think it's because of the pregnancy, you know?"

"Yeah…"

"What?"

"What _what_?"

"First Alexis, now you…. why are you acting weird?"

"Because…" He got down on his knees "I wanted to do this properly but we have no time. I love you and I don't want you to think I only married you because of the baby… I want to do this before we get the results…"

"Castle"

"Right. Katherine Beckett, will you marry me?" Rick opened a ring's box and offered to her.

"My mother's ring! Where did you…?" She brought her hand to her chest looking for it "Oh… Alexis!"

"Take your time… nobody's watching anyway" Every single person at the precinct was there watching, and, of course, Ryan was filming.

"You do realize if I'm not pregnant we're still going to be engaged, right?" She gave him a way out.

"Is that a yes?"

"No…"

"Oh" he got up, upset "You're mad… I had no right to send my daughter to steal your mother's ring to propose…"

"Castle?" Their eyes met "Aren't you going to put the ring on my finger?"

"You'll marry me?" He couldn't believe in his ears.

"Always" She gave him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

He kissed her deeply.

"Now let's find out if I'll have 2 babies to care for"

"Two babies? Oh… Alexis talked to you. Right… about that…"

"You seriously won't try to convince _me_ that Alexis doesn't have a point, right?"

"Not anymore, no…"

"It was perfect, Rick"

"Really?" His eyes lit up.

"But I can't believe you sent your daughter to steal the ring"

"I was working on a clock, remember?"

"Uh-huh"

"You said it was perfect!"

"It was… really _really_ perfect" She squeezed his hand as they walked out of the station.

"Stop that, bro!"

"Hey! I'm not filming anymore. It's just a picture"

"You're such a honey-milk."

"If you weren't such an ass Lanie would've asked you to film this, not me!"

"Lanie asked you to? How did she know?"

"Alexis told her and she texted me"

"Huh…" Espo wondered a bit "Meh… she still would've asked you"

"So true, man…" Ryan realized it.

"Montgomery might be dancing in his grave"

"Right?"

* * *

><p>They arrived at the doctor's office and waited their turn.<p>

"You're ok? Your hand is shaking"

"I'm fine, Castle…"

"_Fine_ means _not ok_, and ok means ok."

"All right… you really wanna know?"

"Huh, I asked, didn't I?"

"Well… you were leaving, we had a date, we kissed like that, I told you I love you, we slept together without having sex; all our friends found out about us, Cap Gates want's you gone by tomorrow, Alexis is leaving tomorrow; I spent the last two weeks being cared for, eating carrots and healthy stuff because we had amazingly hot sex without any protection and so I might be pregnant… and now we're engaged after 2 weeks dating, at the doctor's office waiting to see if I'm pregnant. Did I forget anything?"

"Yes…"

"What?"

"You forgot I love you more than anything in the world. And really… we're dating for 4 years; we just didn't kissed and stuff 'till 2 weeks ago."

"Yeah… you're probably right"

"I am absolutely right"

"Don't flatter yourself, Castle"

"Ok… want to talk about names? The wedding? I like Johanna if it's a girl and"

"You'd name her after my mother?"

"Of course! It's a beautiful name"

"Huh… what about if it's a boy?"

"Hum… Rick jr?"

"Oh no! No way! I'm not having a Rick junior!"

"Yeah… that's lame. Daniel? Elliot?"

"I like Elliot… but I like Alexander better"

"Really?"

"It would be confusing, you know… with Alexis…"

"Yeah… it would… Matthew? Wyatt!"

"That's a good one! Wyatt…"

"Miss Beckett? The doctor is waiting for you" Said the assistant.

They entered the room, so clean and cold, and they both took a seat. They were shaking and somehow anxious, peaceful and happy. In love.

"How are you feeling Miss Beckett?"

"Good. Am I pregnant?" She hated when doctor's keep asking questions instead of just saying what they have to say.

"Right… you don't like small talk"

"Well?"

Rick was surprisingly quiet till then "Are we having a baby, doctor?" He had a pretty big smile on his face.

"I'm sorry… you're not having a baby"

"What?" She was in shock "How come? Did you check again?"

"Yes, I double checked. You're not pregnant, Kate."

"But… she's feeling nauseous in the mornings…" Rick was disappointed.

"Yeah… and experiencing dizziness, mood swings…" She was trying to invalidate the blood test.

"Look… when we really want something, and believe it, or really fear it, our mind tricks us and our body pays the price. These symptoms are most likely psychological, unless you're sick."

"Psychological? We were just picking names!" Castle was upset.

"Yes. I'm really sorry, guys… You can keep trying, you know." The doctor was trying to undo what the blood test results had done.

"Thank you, doctor…" Rick held tight Beckett's hand and they walked out of there.

When they reached the sidewalk, Kate, really upset, with tearful eyes said "Castle, if you want to cancel our engagement… I'll understand"

"What? No! I meant that"

"But you only proposed to me _today_ because of the pregnancy"

They were both feeling a hole inside like they should grieve for the baby or something. It never really existed though.

"Look, Castle… I should go to work. We'll talk tomorrow, ok?" She left him standing there, alone.


	15. Letting go

"Hey!" He ran after her. For the very first time he didn't let her go.

She looked back. It had been a really busy morning. Her head was spinning.

"You don't want to go to the station now. Call in sick."

"Oh, I don't?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Well… they're waiting for you, for the news."

"Damn it! I completely forgot our private life wasn't private anymore."

"Kate…"

"Don't, Castle… just don't."

"Why are there tears in your eyes? I thought…"

She wiped the tears from her face.

"I have to go, Castle… I'll go home and try to sort things through"

"What's to sort?"

"Jeez, I don't know… a rushed engagement because of a false alarm"

"Rushed?" Now he was hurt. Really hurt.

"Castle, please… just… don't."

"No! What the hell? Don't play with my feelings, Kate, not again!"

"I knew it! I have to go"

"Don't walk away, Kate"

She looked him straight in the eyes and all she could see was hurt.

"Kate, please, don't shut me out…" He was begging, she could see his eyes bleeding from pain.

"Come with me then…" She really didn't want to be alone right now. She just needed him to be as usual: annoying and ignore her will completely.

"_With these mood swings? How can she not be pregnant?" _Castle thought. "I'll come by your place later, ok? I'll take care of the news first".

Yeah… she really didn't want to do that. She gave him a quick kiss and then she was gone. Castle wasn't in the mood of telling anybody anything either, so he sent texts to everyone knowing they'd understand.

* * *

><p>"Richard, darling, I'm so sorry"<p>

"Yeah, mother, me too. It was probably for the best. I felt guilty for ruining her life with a pregnancy like that."

"I'm sure she doesn't think that. Why are you here anyway, kiddo?"

"I live here?"

"Why aren't you with Beckett?"

"I think she needs some space right now"

"From you?"

"From the universe…"

"Nonsense! She needs you! Go find her! Unless you need space too…"

"I think she regrets accepting my proposal. I mean… There's no point now."

"If you really think there's no point I'm sure Kate is right about needing space from you. Don't be an idiot!"

"What?"

"Go find her and assure her of your love, kiddo. You two already wasted enough time"

"You're probably right…"

"I am. Just be home by dinner time, the daughter you actually _have_ is leaving for college"

"I can't believe she's going… Can today get any worse than already is?"

"Oh… you'll live. I did. Now go find your fiancée!"

* * *

><p>She was sitting on her mother's grave, just talking.<p>

"I know it's been a while... I'm sorry. I just couldn't be in a cemetery until today. It felt the right place to be... Some things changed since we last spoke… It's Castle." A shy smiled formed on the corner of her mouth.

"You'd love him, mom… but dad… dad will be pissed. I don't think Castle talked to him before he proposed to me and although it was last minute, it felt really the right time. Does it make any sense at all? Now I don't know what to do. I love him from the bottom of my heart and…" She took a moment to open the chocolate's box she had bought for the both of them, and Katie just loved the excuse.

"He is always trying to feed me. Can you believe he made me eat carrots and all that healthy food for 2 weeks? We thought I was pregnant. Just found out I'm not…" She bit one chocolate "Yeah… I know the lecture already… we had this amazing-smoking-hot-wild sex, and, you know, it was urgent that we had to love each other that it slipped our minds. Since the shot I'd stopped with birth control pills… It just happened." She paused.

"Dr. Burke said Castle wouldn't leave because I'm not pregnant… he didn't saw the proposal coming… He also says it's time to let go, mom… of you. I mean, the grief. Catching the responsible for your death…"

"I'm doing it, mom…. Don't be disappointed, it's been so long, it almost killed me several times. And Castle. I know you'd want me to walk away long ago. Now I know how to fill my life with… life" She wiped her tears "I'm actually trying to find Castle's father. I… I couldn't tell him that yet. I know how it feels like to have hopes and it just ends up being nothing… I don't wanna put him through that. Ever"

It took him no time to realize where she'd be.

"He's so handsome, mom… I don't think I felt this way about a guy before. I think he's the one. I know I just got engaged… I know… it's great" She felt light "I'll tell you how he did it later, it was just _perfect_… He's more than great… and his daughter? Alexis is so perfect."

"I hope our kids will be like her. He is a _great_ father. I wasn't open to the possibility of being a mother right now but he was so gentle taking care of me these past weeks… it felt like when I had you to take care of me again. It's silly, I know…" her voice had an inexplicable joy "two weeks dating seems fast… but I feel like I know him since forever! I don't wanna rush things even more, though" she smiled "Lanie would have said to me right now that 'rush' doesn't describe our relationship at all" she laughed. "She's right. There's so much to learn yet, I don't know how it will be like from now on… Alexis is leaving tomorrow. She's going to college. Harvard, Med school. I'm proud of her, of Rick. He'll need me. More than ever."

"_She'll kill me if she finds out I'm here. Leaving isn't an option, though. I'm screwed"_ he thought with himself as he approached his fiancée so he could hear her.

"Oh, mom… I know it's not the place, but giving the circumstances…" she had to be tough to say all this "he's so hot! He's like super tall… and he has these unbelievable kind eyes, so blue… Alexis has the very same eyes."

"_That's true…"_ he thought.

"And his arms? They're so strong… his hug feels like _home_, you know? Oh… and his legs? Mom, you'd be _so_ _proud_ of me. I know, I know…" she giggled "his butt, his thighs… you wouldn't _believe_ how hot he is…" She bit her bottom lip "His chest and abs aren't perfect as well, thank God, because if they were... I wouldn't be able to handle his ego…"

"_My ego! Truth be told: I'm ruggedly handsome." _He thought offended.

She laughed "He's _so_ annoying, mom… it's hard to believe someone can be like him. He's a 9-year-old in a sugar rush… before he came around I had no fun. He makes my day worth it. _Every day_. He has this thing he does with his lips when he says 'always', it's so cute… and he always takes good care of me, mom, always respects my silence… my space. He just doesn't give up on me for anything… even when he should."

Her voice suddenly became serious "I've hurt him so badly. I'm sure he didn't forgive me… I mean, how could he? I hurt him… lied to his face for almost a year. I can feel he doesn't trust me like before. Well… if he didn't left me when I told him the truth about that day it's gotta mean something, right? Can't help myself shutting him out... I don't deserve him. Not after what I've done. He's got this amazingly good heart and every time I let him down since the shooting it kills me inside. I just did it today, again. I hate myself for breaking his heart…"

"Don't" he came from behind her.

"What? Castle… what are you doing here? What did you hear?" She was caught off guard.

"I heard enough." He was serious.

"_Oh God_… please say you didn't hear me saying you're…"

"Hot? _Every single word_." He had a really cocky smile.

"Don't be flattered."

"You're not so bad yourself." He smiled.

"Not so bad? Huh… the flowers won't ease this for you."

"I thought so. They aren't for you though… they're for your mother." He put the flowers on her grave.

For that she wasn't expecting.

"Today wasn't your fault. I won't lie to you… I'm still hurting. And the thing is… you're the one who caused it and you're the only one who can make it go away. You're my poison and my medicine." He paused "I miss us being _us_… without this mess"

"I miss us too…"

"Let's be us… Shaw we?" He smiled "Come with me… there's something I need to show you."

"Rick, I'm sorry… I never meant to hurt you. I'm so, so sorry"

"Kate, it's fine… really"

"You said yourself '_fine_ means _not ok_'…"

"Now you're quoting me? Jeez… I'm such a great author…"

"And there he is, ladies and gentlemen: Richard Castle" she said and raised an eyebrow "I said it too soon"

"What?" He wasn't following.

"That I missed you being… you"

"No, no, no, no… too late to take it back"

"You're so annoying… why you always have to be such a…" She couldn't find words to describe him.

"An incredible lover?"

"What? No… 'Child'. I was going to say 'child'" No, she wasn't…

"Sure… that's why you're blushing"

"I'm not blushing" She narrowed her eyes.

"Kate, you don't have to be tough… not with me. I've got your back"

"Castle…"

"Kate, come on! We're in a relationship and you still have that _wall_ between us"

"What do you mean?"

"You still call me Castle even when we're off the precinct. Let me in, Kate! We're engaged!"

"We're engaged because of a baby that never existed!"

"So what if it was because of that? And I'm not saying it was, because it wasn't. There's so much more… there's love. So many people marry without it, thinking they have it when they don't"

"And how you know it's really love? What if it isn't?"

"I married twice thinking I was in love… and I wasn't. I never ever felt like I feel when I'm around you; when you touch me; when you do _those things_ to me… When I'm not thinking of you I'm trying to not think about you. It's gotta be love"

"I…"

"You have to let me in…"

"I'm trying, Cas-Rick. I just don't know how to act around you anymore… it's too recently… we're rushing this… us."

"No, no, no… don't say that. We're not rushing anything. We just… we're different from other couples. They need progressive things… so what if we miss a few steps? We're still going to the same direction."

"I know… deep down I know. I just… just…"

"We'll sort things out together, ok?"

"huh… ok" She smiled.

"And… you wouldn't be able to keep your hands to yourself anyway… I'm _hot_ remember?" He poked her like a child.

"I'm so paying for my own words… me and my big mouth. _And your nosy ears_…" She rolled her eyes.

They held hands and as they were walking away Kate looked back.

"Bye, mom" she said as she let go of her death's burden.


	16. Sorting it

In the cab Kate seemed distant.

She kept rotating the ring on her finger.

The thing is… she had a really _really_ busy morning. Castle, dr. Burke, Alexis, Castle and a proposal, the blood-test results, her mother. And Castle again. It was noon.

"This morning felt like a lifetime" She thought out loud.

"Yeah… hell of a morning, huh?" Castle too was feeling awkward.

"Tell me about it… it feels wrong"

"What feels wrong?" He had his peaceful smile.

"You're seriously not asking me that…" he was unbelievable.

"I feel like I missed something important"

"Well… _duh_!"

"What?"

"_Seriously_?"

"I'm fearing for my life without even knowing _why_"

"Never mind"

"Sure?"

Now he was in trouble.

"_Yeah_. Why should I mind if _you don't_?"

He didn't know what to say.

That's one of the reason's his marriages never lasted: women just don't let go. They keep bringing up things that happened ages before just so they can make a fight out of it.

He thought it was best to leave it alone.

"I'm hungry" he finally said something.

"I'm not." She was in a bad mood but thought it was unfair to kill him just for that "I ate a box of chocolates at the cemetery…"

"That's sad…I mean, _morbid_ sad" He mocked.

"You should be the last man on Earth to say that! _Ever_!"

"Really? Just because I kill people for a living?"

"Oh… that too…"

"What then?"

"You said you loved me over there, Castle. For the _first_ time. If that's not _morbid_…"

"And we're back at this…" He rolled his eyes. She was pushing it.

"Yeah… we kind of never left _here_, actually. We have to talk"

"_Great_. Let's talk"

The cab driver pulled over and they went up to her apartment.

She opened her fridge and grabbed carrot sticks "Here", as she handed them to him.

"Carrots?" He was hoping for some real food.

"Welcome to my world. _It's healthy, right_? Eat them" Payback time.

"Fine… I'll eat without complain… just so you know that's what _normal_ people do. _They eat carrots_"

"You already complained!"

"Starting now"

They became quiet for a while. All they could hear was Castle chewing the crispy carrots.

"_Oh my God_! Even hearing carrots being chewed makes them disgusting" She really missed junk food.

"I like it. It's _crispy_"

"_Oh_… don't you dare! Don't even _think_ going there. '_Crispy'_ is _good_ stuff, like _crispy chicken_. Carrots are disgusting"

"You can get back to your take-outs now"

"Yeah, I guess I can…"

Their eyes weren't meeting.

"You really think it was morbid?" He sounded hurt.

"Well… I was _dying_; it was a _funeral_, related to my mother's _death_, at a _cemetery_… I'm a _homicide_ detective, you're a _crime_ novelist… Everything related to it was morbid, Castle"

"When you put it like _that_…"

"Oh yeah? How would you put it then?" She was laughing.

"I… huh… I" he couldn't think of anything not-morbid "Ok, maybe it was a _bit_ morbid…"

"And I lied to you for almost a year about it." She was looking at his eyes.

"_Here we go again_… Why do women have to do this? _Come on_! You lied, you came forward, You said you love me too, move on!"

"How come you're not mad!"

"_Jeez_… that's ridiculous... Why have this conversation now? What's the point? _Hurt me? Hurt you?_"

"_Oh_. _My_. _God_. You already _knew_! Before I told you"

"No, I didn't" he looked away "I had a _hunch_."

"A _hunch_? And it didn't occur to you to tell me that?"

"You said you didn't remember… every time I asked! It looked like you didn't want to remember, despite your actions, so I left it aside."

"If I didn't remember I would know just by reading the Heat Rises' Acknowledgements, Castle… I remember telling you that you know you're in love…"

"…when the songs makes sense… I know."

They stared at each other for a sec.

"My actions?"

"What?"

"You said my actions… my actions what, Castle?"

"Oh… right." He took a moment "Your actions told me what your mouth couldn't"

"What do you mean?"

"Since the shooting you were all about that wall, the relationship you wanted… taking my hand to show me support on several occasions; threatening a bank-robber… yes, I know what you said to him. And then you have this kind, sweet, almost in love, look when you talk to me; of course… you started to climb on me too… you're different. I can't be mad at you for lying with words when your actions said the opposite"

"So you knew..."

"Don't be mad… please…"

"We can't be engaged, Castle. It's way too fast. Deep down I know and you know it. You love me, but you only proposed to me _today_ because of the pregnancy. We would date for months, or years, before we'd do that, normally."

"I know… I also know you said yes because you do love me, but I should have discussed it with you before I proposed. Alexis woke me up too late, I guess"

"Alexis put you up to this?"

"She said she's tired of us being apart because of little things… and the baby was actually a _little thing_ that could bring us together forever or just keep it from ever happening. And she was right. I'm done being away from you. I want you in my life for good."

"She's a smart kid."

"We don't have to marry anytime soon, you know."

"I'm not a hotel room you can book to yourself and keep it booked"

"That's the _worst_ metaphor I've ever heard"

"Ok… It's like owning a Ferrari and never intend to _drive_ it"

"That's not true! So you wanna get married soon? Can't wait to wake up with me every day, huh?"

"You snore…" She giggled.

"I do not!"

"You do." She smiled "I'm not looking forward to don't get any sleep at all because of you"

"Your job don't let you sleep… don't blame this on me" He was sitting on her couch's armrest with her between his knees.

"Yeah… I know. You don't snore _that much_…" She bit her lip.

"_Good_… because I want to wake up with you by my side more often"

"Well… let's see about that"

"What?" he was confused.

"You're engaged to me and you didn't talk to my father"

"_Oh shit_! I take it back!"

"What? Waking up with me every day?"

"No, my _proposal_!"

"_You what_!"

"Oh yeah! _I take it back_"

"You can't!"

"Why? You just said it was the wrong thing to do and… your father will kill me…"

"He won't kill you… he might torture you a bit. I'm daddy's little girl"

"So I've heard"

"What?"

"Nothing… I just don't want to screw up. You're the woman of my life and I'm doing everything wrong. I'm hopeless"

"The woman of your life?" Her face was inches from his.

"Yes" Their eyes were kissing already.

"Can we be engaged without being _engaged-to-be-married_ for a while?"

"You mean _date_? Like a serious relationship?"

"Yeah…?"

"It sounds perfect"

"Really? I want to marry you, I do… but…"

"Not right away"

"I'm a bad person… I can't ask you that."

"I can take back the proposal if it makes you feel more comfortable. And do it when you're ready"

"It would be ideal… but the thing is… I kinda _like_ being engaged to you" she whispered in his ear.

"Man, you can get me confused in 2 minutes."

"I know…" she was sorry.

He sat her on his lap. "But the good thing is that I like being confused"

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh"

"So… we're engaged."

"Yes, we are. Not moving in together, not planning the wedding. Just engaged. Like _dating-engaged_"

"I can work with that"

They shared a tender kiss.

"And what do I do about your father?"

She laughed "That's really _your_ problem."

"Don't do that"

"It's so much funnier this way"

"I don't have a father; I don't know how to deal with one"

"Seriously? You're gonna play that card?"

"Yes, I am"

"You've being married _twice_"

"Meredith's father wasn't in the picture, so I didn't had _the talk_ with him… and Gina's father passed away a couple years before we married. I never had _the talk_ with a father."

"Don't worry… my dad will be enough to cover all 3 of them"

She couldn't stop laughing.

"Not funny…"

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for all the subscriptions and the reviews... It's really nice. <strong>

**The last 3 chapters plus this one were about the caracter's figuring out what they wanted.**

**Bishop, I'm glad you felt the mixed emotions and the rush. It all happened within 2 hours, so... their heads were a mess. Everything happened so fast...**

**And last chapter was the most important, actually, for what comes next: ****The rug is gone, people, so all the dirt it was hidding it's now exposed. **

**They will start a relationship now. Richard is going to find out what it is to date Beckett and she will find out what it is to be in Rick's life.**

**Let me know what you're thinking of it so far...**


	17. A twisted twist

She thought he'd be absorbed by her couch. Yes, he refused to stay at the loft because of his daughter's absence. Martha had given up, he was too depressed.

It's been a week. A really _really_ long week. Longer than her two weeks without coffee. Lanie wasn't talking to her yet… she couldn't blame the ME, it was her choice to not tell her about Rick, the pregnancy. Esposito and Ryan weren't funny as before.

"That's it. I'm gonna call her and tell her you're not behaving!"

"Never did… she won't worry." he had put on some weight from being on the couch every day, every hour.

"Then I'm gonna hold Monkey-Bonkey hostage until you're back to your old self."

"You wouldn't!" She finally got his attention.

"Watch me!" She dared him.

She took the stuffed monkey "And you're grounded until I say otherwise. No TV, no internet and no snacks. Did I make myself clear?" She talked to him like she talked to her suspects.

He nodded.

"Good boy. Now get into the shower, put on some clean clothes and I'll make dinner. You have 20 minutes. Go."

He ran into the bathroom. She was starting to scary him.

She took a deep breath. He was stinking already. And that stuffed monkey too. "Ew!"

She made mac and cheese; some comfort food would be good for him.

He was ready in fifteen minutes and sat on the table. He looked alive for the first time in a week.

"So, how was work? Did they find you a new partner yet?"

"Not yet. It was ok…"

"And Lanie?"

"Still not talking to me…" That was being rough.

"She'll come around…"

"I hope so… did you talk to Lex?"

"She texted me… said she's loving everything."

"It's good."

"huh… I don't know. She isn't supposed to be this happy about leaving her father behind"

"Oh, Castle… don't be such a big baby! She's happy! She's at college. There's no place like college…" He gave him a smirk.

"Oh, man… I can't even think about it. She's so beautiful, so innocent… and all those boys… waiting to"

"Oh, yeah… the boys. Huh… I miss college."

She smiled when she noticed his gaze.

"Come on, Castle… aren't you the cool dad?"

"I am the cool dad"

"Well… cool dads let their daughters date, hook up, have a quicky…"

Those words became images in his head.

"I'm not a cool dad… definitely not."

"Oh, really?"

"Why are you torturing me?"

"Because… you deserve it. You're annoying me with your depression"

"A whole new way to annoy you… what about that, huh?"

She rolled her eyes. At least he was making jokes again.

"Are you doing anything, at all, tomorrow?"

"I think you're right… that's enough of being miserable."

"And what do you plan to do?"

"It's a surprise. I hope it'll be a good one."

She was suspicious, but she thought it was best to not know.

* * *

><p>The next morning she went to work on a hurry. Dead body. She remembered, though, to take Monkey-Bonkey with her. Better safe than sorry.<p>

"Hey, guys… what we got?" Beckett said when arrived at the crime scene.

Esposito and Ryan felt the chilly air surrounding Beckett and Lanie, so they just got out of the way.

"Lanie?" Beckett was looking down.

"Nothing interesting. You can read my report after the autopsy."

"Can't you tell me anything now?"

"I could, but I prefer to let you find out on your own…" And the ME bagged the body leaving her friend behind.

"Yo, girl… nothing yet?"

"No… still not talking to me." She took a deep breath "What did you do to break the ice…berg?"

"I tried to give her time, but it wasn't working for me, so I talked to her. Made her listen. You know Lanie… she's tough."

"Don't I know it?" She was feeling hopeless… Castle was a rack, Lanie was pissed… everything falling apart.

"And Castle?"

"Huh… still depressed. He's driving me crazy… yesterday I grounded him."

"Grounded? Like what?" Ryan came from behind them.

"You know… basic stuf: no TV, no internet, no snacks… just didn't took his phone because of Alexis."

Ryan sniffed Beckett's jacket.

"What the hell is that smell?"

"It's Monkey-Bonkey."

"That's smelly." Ryan was disgusted.

"What the hell is a Monkey-Bonkey?" Esposito sniffed her clothes too.

"Tell me about it… it's Alexis' teddy-monkey when she was little. Nobody washes that thing. It's not safe to do it, believe me." She sniffed her arms.

* * *

><p>She put the stuffed animal in her desk's bottom drawer and locked it. She was supposed to go down to the morgue, but she wasn't really in the mood for that. She went anyway.<p>

"Hey Lanie… what you got?"

"For you?"

Kate hesitated before answering.

"Yes…?"

Lanie smacked her.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Are you really asking me that?"

"I-I… I was wondering if it was about Rick or the pregnancy"

Lanie smacked her again.

"Ouch! Lanie, stop that!"

"You deserve it!"

"I know..." Kate softened her voice.

"I respect you like to keep things to yourself, Kate, I do. Hell… who am I trying to kid?"

"I'm sorry, Lanie… I really am… but I couldn't even say that to myself… I didn't want that to be real… it would be if I told you, you know?"

"Worst excuse ever. You're engaged to a writer, you should take the opportunity to learn some stuff."

"Yeah… he said I suck at explaining things."

"He's right." Lanie looked away.

"I would fill you in with details of how the hell I almost ended up pregnant, but, you know… since _you're not talking to me_…" Kate teased her friend.

"Well… if the content is really good I guess I could consider forgiving you a little bit…" Lanie was dying of curiosity.

"It's _really good_." Kate kept teasing her friend.

"I don't know… you made me lose that bet, you know."

"Totally worth it…"

"It's really _that_ good?" She was giving in… curiosity speaking for her.

"Even _better_" Kate could see her friend reluctant.

"Hmmm… I should get a taste, you know… to know it's worth it."

"Four rounds…"

"_Four rounds_?" She stared at her friend trying to figure if it was a lie.

"I wouldn't lie to you under these circumstances, Lanie"

"Fine, girl. Spill it."

"Not without a warranty..."

"I'll tell you how much I can forgive you after hearing all of it ."

"Fair enough."

"Spill."

"Here?"

"He won't tell anybody..." She pointed at the dead body.

"It's creepy!"

"Fine! Your place, 7 o'clock."

"Can't it be at your place? Castle is kinda living at my apartment for the last week."

"What?"

"So much to catch on…"

"I can see that… fine. My place. Bring wine."

"You're so gonna need something stronger than that..."

"Damn, girl… I want details. LOTS of it."

"You shall have enough…" She winked at her friend. Her phone had been ringing for a while, so she finally picked it up. "What the hell can't wait, Esposito?"

["Yo… your boy is in Gate's office… they're fighting. Like, he's talking back. At _Gates_!"]

"Oh shit! I'm coming up right now!"

"What happened, girl?" Lanie was curious.

"It's Castle… he's with Gates… arguing"

"That can't be good. Go!"

* * *

><p>Beckett steped into her floor in a hurry. She saw Esposito and Ryan fighting.<p>

"What's happening?" She asked the boys.

"I won the bet and now Espo wants to take it back!" Ryan said it like he was complaining about his brother to his mother.

"What bet?" She was confused.

"That Castle wouldn't leave. He'd stay" Espo poked Ryan.

"Yeah, but did go. And they are in a relationship right now! It means I won the bet!" Ryan talked back.

"He's back, bro! I won the bet!"

"You don't know if he's back! He might as well don't come out alive from Gate's office!"

"He's trying to get back… it means he wants to be here, so he never left like he said he would!"

"Tomato, _Tomato_."

"Keep saying that and you'll never know what hit you, Kevin!" Esposito was pissed.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Castle, what are you doing here?"<p>

"I came in peace. With an offer you can't refuse."

"I am refusing it already."

"You can't."

"Watch your tone, Mr. Castle."

"Hm… so moody. I guess you just got the new budget cuts…" His tone was provocative.

"Am I supposed to think you have something to do with it?"

"Actually, no. But… here's the thing: you can't afford a new detective… and you know…"

"Tell me something I don't know yet Mr. Castle."

"You can have a new detective without spending a cent. You can have me for free. I mean… you don't have to pay for my work here… never did. And I believe I am pretty good at this job…"

"Mr. Castle, If you were good at being a detective you'd be in the force. You're not. You're not a cop, you're an annoying writer with good friends."

"Still… I'm free. And you need a detective."

"How dare you come to my office, make fun of my department as if their police training wasn't worth a thing, sneak yourself into this department because you were bored at home…"

"You know how good I am!" he shouldn't have interrupted her.

"You're no good to this department, Mr. Castle!"

"You don't have a choice! You need a new detective and you can't afford one!"

"You're probably right… but you know what? I may not be able to afford a detective, but I sure as hell don't have to take you! Your girl over there? She worked alone before you. So because of you she'll be alone from now on. Without a partner to have her back!"

"You can't punish her! I am her partner! I've been her partner for 4 years and you just have to take me back, because if you don't, and something happens to her, her blood will be on your hands, and your hands _alone_."

She kept in silent for a while. He wouldn't win this one.

She walked to door, opened it.

"Beckett, get in here right now!" Her tone was really authoritative.

"Yes, sir?" She presented herself trying to be as respectful as she could.

"We have a situation here with your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend..." She regretted saying that "Sir".

Castle gave her a look.

"He's my fiancé, sir."

"I don't give a shit, detective. Mr. Castle came here offering himself to the position of _your partner_ since _I can't afford a real detective_. There were some budget cuts. And he's saying he's expense-free, and that he's the right choice."

"Sir, I…"

"Save it! I warned you two before to never go behind my back again or else you'd be sorry."

"But, Sir, I didn't…"

"Listen to me, you two… here's what's gonna happen: Mr. Castle from now on will be _detective Castle_. He'll get a _badge _and a _gun_. Don't look so happy, Mr. Castle. You, detective Beckett, will be responsible for all of his actions, taking personal responsibility for him. Who he shoots, who he kills, who he arrests, who he pisses, if he dies…"

"What? No, sir!" Beckett knew it would be like hell… Castle was impossible just being him, with a badge and a gun, feeling like a cop… it should end badly.

"You don't get to make that choice, detective. You two would like to work together, so you will. He's on you, Beckett." She handed him a badge and a gun "Now get out you two."

* * *

><p><strong>So... what do you think? <strong>

**There's so much more than what the eyes can see... **


	18. Old Skeletons, New skeletons

**Thanks for the reviews so far... it's really sweet. **

**I'm posting the new chapter right away... and I promise to update soon.**

* * *

><p>Castle walked out of Gate's office with the biggest grin. Almost immediately he fastened the badge and the holster on his belt. Kate took the gun from his hands.<p>

"What the hell?" Ryan dropped his jaw.

"Is that a badge, bro?" Esposito found that hard to believe in.

Kate grabbed Castle's earlobe and twisted it as she dragged him to the interrogation room.

"Ouch! Apples! Apples!"

"What the hell happened in there, Castle?"

"Aren't you gonna congratulate me?"

"There's nothing to be happy about, Castle!"

"Hey…. Just because we're equals now…"

"We're not equals! You're still my responsibility. And now you have a gun! And a badge!"

"I think I earned it, don't you?"

"That's not the point… how the hell that happened? How you found out about the budget cuts?"

"The mayor…"

"…is a fan… I know." She rolled her eyes. "Castle, this is serious…"

"So you trust me as your partner if I'm a civilian, but now that I am a detective, just like you, you don't want me as your partner anymore?"

"You heard Gates! You're my responsibility… Alexis will kill me!"

"Alexis?"

"Yes… I promised I'd take care of you and now you own a gun. This can't be happening…"

"Kate, it's fine… I'll be fine." He couldn't not look at his badge. "Can I have my gun, please?"

"Castle, I mean it. You don't get to use this gun. Not ever."

"Beckett, I'll be fine. Give my gun."

"You know… now that you're a detective… you'll have your share of the paperwork… you don't get to go home if you're bored…"

"Why do you always have to spoil all the fun?"

"Because… you're my responsibility. With a gun!"

"Well, Beckett, I'm working here now, same as you."

"Fine! But if you fire that gun, even if it was by accident, specially by accident, I will hunt you down and kill you myself, Castle."

"Understood." He smiled.

She was mad. She was furious. How the hell could that happen? He was happy though…

"God, I love those dimples of yours…" She kissed him lightly on the lips.

* * *

><p>"So, Castle… what's up with the badge?"<p>

"Gentlemen, it's _detective_ Castle now."

"What?" the boys said in chorus.

"That's right… I got a promotion."

"Beckett?" again in chorus.

"It's true, guys… he's a detective under my watch."

"Uh! What did you do to Gates hate you so much?" Esposito asked.

"What do you mean?" Castle was serious.

"Bro, that means she has to answer for everything you do."

"So?"

"So, she can lose her job over this… if you screw up."

Castle now realized what was happening.

"He won't screw up." Beckett said smiling.

He smiled back.

"Right… if you two weren't _doing it_ she'd castrate you because of this." Javi was worried.

"She would, wouldn't she?" Their eyes were smiling staring at each other.

"Still am if you fire that gun…" She said smiling.

"And I thought you and Jenny were… ew!"

"Hey, man… you were like that with Lanie too… but I get your grumpiness… you have to do paperwork for us both for one whole year…"

"I won the bet!" Esposito was pissed.

"You didn't! They're together!" Ryan talked back.

"Wait, wait… what bet?" Castle called their attention.

"I bet you'd leave the 12th and be with her…" Ryan said.

"And I bet you'd stay and nothing would change between you two" Esposito told them his bet.

"Well… it seems you both won the bet." Castle said making fun of them.

"And you both lost it." Beckett finished her partner's sentence "He's still here, and we're together."

The boys starred at each other.

Castle and Beckett crossed their arms and starred at the boys.

"Mom and dad want us to…" Esposito took the first step.

"…uh… be nice to each other." Ryan finished.

"Come on, guys… you're sharing paperwork like always." Beckett was threatening them with her tone, they knew it, and so they shook hands.

"See? Was that too hard?" Beckett pinched their cheeks. "Let's get back to work."

* * *

><p>They went home together that day for the first time.<p>

"So… you and Lanie, huh?"

"Yeah… cross your fingers."

"You didn't tell me, you know, how you convinced her to…" he cleared his throat "talk to you." He looked up to her eyes. He was sitting on the couch, holding a glass of wine.

"I-I… well… huh. I mean… didn't I tell you? Well… don't wait up."

"Kate."

"Yes, honey?" She leaned forward to kiss him.

"I won't take bribes today. I'm curious… what did you have to do?"

"It's none of your business!"

"Oh! I knew it! You're gonna tell her!"

"No! What? Tell her what?"

"About our first, _and only_, night together."

"Castle! Don't be rude!"

"Just pointing out the obvious… so… how much will you tell her?"

"Enough to be friends again."

"That much, huh?"

"Yes… I think it will be that much. Geez…"

"Can I come? I'd love to hear you tell her what you remember from that night."

"In your dreams…"

"Oh yeah… come here." He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her.

"Thinking it through… I think you should wait up."

"Su-sure."

"You should go home, Castle… get more clothes… let your mother know you're alive… tell her the news. Wait. Not that part."

"I will… maybe later. I like it in here."

"Castle, if somebody should move in with anybody, it should be me with you. The loft have enough room for all of us."

"That's the problem… my mother and daughter don't fit in here. It's our place. Just for the two of us."

"I give up. If you need a couple more days here it's ok… I have to go. Love ya!"

"Love you too."

Damn… she couldn't get enough of that.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Lanie… brought vodka."<p>

"It was _that good_, huh…"

"You've no idea…"

"Before you start with the nasty details… is it truth that Gate's made Castle your partner and detective?"

"News spreads fast, I guess…"

"Wait. What was that smirk?"

"What? What smirk? You're seeing things, Lanie… and yes… it's true. He's a detective now."

"Kate Beckett I'm gonna smack you! Again! You're gonna tell me the whole story right now. Spill"

"Lanie, I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Kate."

"I'm serious! Do you wanna know how good writer boy is in bed or what?"

"Maybe later… your fingers are all over this, aren't they?"

"Lanie!"

"What do you have on Gates?"

"What? Why? I don't have anything on her…"

"Then why she did what she did?"

"I don't know! He said he'd take care of, you know, the Castle issue."

"Who's he?"

"The mayor…" She instantly looked away.

"And why would he do that?"

"I… uh… I said I could make reports go away… from that investigation."

"Oh… the one he was a suspect?"

"That one."

"And how Gates got involved?"

"I think he cut off the extra detective's budget… she really doesn't like Castle."

"And Demming?"

"He found out I was with Castle and gave up the offer."

"Hm… interesting."

"Gates was pissed at me and Castle."

"But she made him _detective_."

"I know! With a real badge and gun!"

"Why would she do that?"

"I don't know… didn't get a chance to ask either. I mean… not without point fingers to the mayor and myself."

"Do you think she might actually do it for real?"

"What?"

"Detective Castle."

Kate laughed. She kept laughing.

And she wouldn't stop laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"It's Gates we're talking about! Come on, Lanie… She wouldn't do it willingly…"

"Then tell me… what do you think it is?"

"I don't know… but I'm sure she wouldn't just hand him a badge and a gun. Someone's behind it…"

"That's serious, Kate. Do you think he's in danger?"

"Or he has a damn good friend on the force who owed him a pretty big favor."

"Or that… That could work. Or… she could just be teaching you a lesson, you know. Don't mess with her."

"By getting Castle a badge…"

"… and a gun?"

"No way!"

"Way!"

"Come on… she wouldn't be so irresponsible." It made Kate think. And think hard.

"Speaking of it… tell me, Kate, how the hell everything happened between the two of you?"

"From where should I begin…?"

* * *

><p>"Hi… still up?"<p>

"Yeah… I was waiting for you."

"Oun…" she kissed him "So… you went home?"

"Actually, I did. Mother was there…"

"Did you two talk?"

"No… It was a bit crowdie."

"What you mean?"

"She was throwing a party…"

"Oh"

"How was with Lanie?"

"I think we're fine"

"Good." He smiled.

"So... what did you do tonight by yourself?"

"Well… I was looking through your books… to see if I could find something to read…"

"Did you?"

"I did find something… but not to read."

"What?" She was apprehensive.

"I thought you were a fan."

"I was-am!"

"I found all of my books in your shelf, but two..."

"Oh…" She knew what he was talking about, but decided to play dumb. "Really? That's strange…"

"Uh-huh… don't you wanna know which ones?"

"I… uh… yes, sure."

"I think you already know. The first and the last Derrick Storm's books."

"Well… I do have them."

"Yeah… I gave you a signed copy of the last one… and I couldn't find it. And you wouldn't have all of them and don't have the first one, so I went looking for it."

"Wasn't in the bathroom?" Still playing dumb.

"Nope."

"And…" she cleared her throat "did you find them?"

"Yes, I did."

"Oh."

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"What?"

"We've met before!"

"We didn't meet before, Castle… I stood in the line to get my book signed. That was it. You signed it and I took off."

"Yeah… the thing is... I remember you."

"Castle, come on. That's impossible. I stood in that line for one hour. There were hundreds of women there. Years ago. Many, many years ago."

"'To Katie, don't keep that gorgeous smile from the world. Rick Castle'" She said it with him.

"I asked you for a smile. And you gave me _your_ smile."

"You _do remember_…" she was shocked.

"You looked sad. Like really sad. You kept you hair longer than when I met you, I mean, re-met you."

"It was three years after my mother's murder. I was trying to move on yet…" She started biting her nails.

"So… how much of a fan are you really?"

"Number 1, I guess." She smiled.

"And you didn't tell me that because…?"

"You're kidding, right? You were telling me how to do my job and I was supposed to say I was your biggest fan, that I totally had a crush on you since the first book I read because it was the only thing that helped me deal with my mother's murder?"

"I-I… uh… tha-that. Or you know… you should let me find out on my own that you keep the signed books hidden on your closet."

"You went through my closet?"

"I wasn't snooping around, I swear! I was…"

She marched to her closed and opened the door.

"Your stuff. Why are your stuff in my closet? Did you clean up and fold my clothes?"

"I did so I could make room for my stuff!"

"You're moving in?"

"If you didn't noticed, I moved in with you a week ago."

"Sorry… it was hard to distinguish you from the couch."

"Haha… funny."

"You moved in, like, moved in?"

"Is that a problem? It's not that I don't live at the loft anymore… I just… don't wanna be there alone."

"Actually… no. I'm… happy." She couldn't believe how she felt about it. "What about the loft?"

"Well… it comes with a price. My mother. The highest price on Earth, if I may say so."

"Uh… you're welcome to stay as long as you want, Rick…"

He kissed her and she kissed him back.

"Oh… I forgot to mention… What happen to your Heat Wave?"

She knew exactly what he meant.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Really… It seems like if it's been read a hundred times. Probably more. Specially from the page 100"

She took a deep breath. She knew this time would come.

"Maybe I did read that part more than 100 times…"

"I keep wondering why…" He had a smirk on his face.

"You're a detective now, Castle… figure it out."

She needed a distraction… he'd buzz her over this until... forever.

She unbuttoned the first 3 buttons of her shirt, took a pen from the bedside table, bit her lip and looked him right in the eyes.

He forgot what he was talking about.

She asked him using a husky voice "I'm your biggest fan, Ricky... Would you sign my chest?"

"It's _detective Ricky_"

He signed "To Katie, Always. Love, Ricky"

He kissed her passionately.

They were in love and that night they made love for the first time.


	19. Surprise!

"So…"

"Huh?" She was barely awake.

"My books helped you deal with you mother's murder?"

"hmm… yeah. They did. Oh, boy… I can't believe I'm telling you this… but-"

He raised both his eyebrows.

"They are the reason, actually, why I pay attention to the details. I learned it from your books. How to think like a detective and connect the dots. Well, not only from your books, I mean… but, yeah. Dammit." She took a deep breath. "I learned so much through them and I needed to get some closure, and your stories always gets closure. It helped."

"huh"

"Don't."

"What?"

"I mean it."

"Well" a cocky smile formed on his mouth's corners.

"Castle…" There was it: the 'don't you dare' tone.

"I-" they heard a knock on her door. "I think I'll get the door?"

"Uh-huh" she smiled "I'll be there in no time. I think it's the paper… they always throw the damn thing at my door."

"This late?" he said as he walked towards the front door.

He was on his boxers. Since it wasn't really his home, he didn't bother to look through the peep… it was probably the paper. It was almost 10 a.m. and she was off duty today.

Rick opened the door, saw the person in front of him e immediately shut the door as a reflex.

"Is it the paper? She said as she approached her fiancé.

"Ki-kinda."

"You're pale. What happened? Did you spill coffee on the paper again, Rick? I'm serious… it has to stop."

The door opened on its own.

"The paper is intact today, Katie" Her father entered her apartment holding the paper.

"Mi-mis-mister Beckett!"

"Dad!" She hid behind Castle. She too was on her underwear.

"Hello there."

Awkward.

He stared at the almost-naked-couple.

"Did you just shut the door on my dad's face?"

"I-I might have done it unconsciously?" He didn't want to get spanked like that.

She narrowed her eyes on him. He was screwed. Definitely. She came from behind him and hugged her father.

Castle rushed to the bedroom to get a t-shirt and shorts.

He came back with a stay-home dress for Kate which she slipped in without shame.

"I should get going… Nice seeing you Mr. Beckett." He kissed Kate's cheek and opened the door.

"Stay put, Richard. You're not going anywhere." Jim's tone was serious.

Kate was enjoying herself too much to say something. She knew it was bad, but she couldn't care less.

"Of course, Mr. Beckett. How rude of me. I just thought you wanted some time alone with your daughter…"

"Nice of you to come by, dad… without a call."

"Zip it! Both of you!" The man was mad. "You two dated, got engaged and almost had a child behind my back and you're complaining I didn't call?"

"You are daddy's little girl" Castle whispered amazed.

"I-uh… Dad… we… I mean… how you found out, anyway?"

"It's all over the news! That damn Page Six! I never thought I'd find you there."

"We're on Page Six?" She gave Castle the look.

Castle swallowed hard.

"I'm glad, by the way, that the paper didn't knew everything about your life, Katie."

She got the confused look.

"He moved in with you?" Her father still had the disapproval look.

"Yes" Castle said with a smile.

"No" Kate said honestly at the same time Castle answered 'yes'.

"He's living here and you didn't know it?"

Busted.

"Actually… he just brought some stuff to leave here just yesterday. He didn't moved in, like _moved in_ with me."

"And you didn't do the same because…?" Her father had softened his tone.

"Well… I-I… didn't get the chance, actually."

"How's that?" Jim looked at Castle "Your place is great. Why aren't you two living there?"

"My daughter just went to college…"

"Oh" Jim got it. "It's tough being in an empty home."

"Wait a sec… did you just said his place is great? How'd you know that?"

The boys looked away.

"One of you is answering me right now!"

They both started talking at the same time.

"Stop. _One_ of you is going to tell me. Not both."

Castle left that one to her father.

"I am not answering anything to you, young lady! You have got to answer _me_ some questions."

"What!" She was confused. And embarrassed. 'Young lady'? In front of her boy-fiancé?

"I just watched on YouTube this very man here proposing to you, my daughter, a week ago and there was something about a baby involved. So, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Surprise?" She smirked.

"Don't act like a teenager, Katherine! You're a grown woman!"

"Dad! Come on!"

Castle was looking down, trying to not laugh.

"I'm waiting, Katie."

"What do you want me to say? We started dating a while ago, we had sex"

"Katie!"

"What? You asked! We thought I was pregnant, but I'm not, really not pregnant, and so he proposed to me, before we knew I wasn't pregnant."

"And?"

"And now we'll use protection?" She was mocking her father.

Castle was almost purple. She said to her father, in front of him, she had sex with him without protection.

"Mr. Castle?"

"Rick, please" Castle said.

"Very well… Rick. Can you tell me why I had to found out about this proposal on the paper and then watch it online?"

"It-It was kinda last minute… I didn't plan it. I wanted to do this right, but then she wasn't sure she would want to keep the engagement or what and…" Castle was trying to explain.

"Alexis was gone the very next day and he practically entered into a coma on my couch since." Kate finished talking.

Her father wasn't looking at them anymore. He was embarrassed for the three of them. They all were. He took his daughter's badge on his hands.

Castle took off to his loft to give them some private room.

* * *

><p>"I remember when you said you were gonna make Detective, and how worried I was about you getting killed… I went to the precinct to talk to Montgomery."<p>

"You did?"

"Yes… I went there to make sure he kept you safe, you know? He was very respectful-"

All she could think about was why he was so respectful… he knew who killed the man's wife and then he was responsible for the man's daughter too.

"and he showed me his badge. It was a lot like this one, actually"

"How can that be? This is a Detective's shield, not a Captain's one. They're very different."

"Katie, he showed me this very same badge… I remember this scratches right here… I cut my finger on them. He said it was from a kidnapping he was working on one day, almost broke this thing in half. Why do you have this badge? Did he gave you his?"

"I… uh… no, Dad… actually. This is Castle's badge. Mine is over here." She handed hers to her father.

"Why are they so different? Look… the shape is odd"

"It's an old badge Dad. Are you sure it was Montgomery's?"

"He told me it was his badge from his Detective's days"

"Huh. This isn't his badge's number… that I can tell. It's the old model… they don't make this kind of badge since… forever. Only old school cops have this."

"I suppose it was his then."

"Yeah… I guess."

"How did Castle get it, anyway?"

"Captain gave him" She made sure to leave the doubt of 'which' Captain she was talking about.

"Oh… well. So… Castle is a Detective like you now?"

"Not like me, Dad. I'm a real one. With training." She smiled.

"Yeah, right…"

She made them coffee.

"So, Katie… is he the one?"

She spill coffee all over the paper on the table.

"I guess you can't blame him for that one" Her father chuckled.

"I-I… uh… yeah… I guess not."

"So?"

"What?"

"Is he the one?"

"Yes, Dad. He is the one."

"Good. I'll gave a chat with him sometime… I think I scared him enough for one day. Did you see how he rushed out?"

They both laughed. Indeed Castle rushed out.

* * *

><p>"Yo! Where's <em>Detective<em> Castle?"

"You shouldn't mock him like that… you'll hurt his feelings." She laughed. "Espo… can I ask a favor? Like a real big one?"

"If it is about Castle's father… I got some info."

"You do? It's not about that… I want you to run this badge number for me."

"Is it Castle's badge? I'm not getting in between you two…"

"It's not like _that_. _Just do it_. And don't tell anybody. What do you have on Castle's father?"

"It's not much, actually. He is…" Esposito looked up "Hey, Castle!"

"Hey, Javi… what's up?" He came closer and kissed his girl's cheek. "Is he in town?"

"I-I… he-he… he is. How do you know that?" Esposito was confused.

"I just ran into him this morning. Awkward." Castle answered.

"You ran into him? This morning?" Still confused.

"Yeah… my Dad and his awful timing" Beckett gave Espo the 'shut the hell up' look.

"Oh… your Dad. I gotta run this… uh… number." And he left.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Your father tried to kill me with his eyes today."

"He'll get over it. But… you still didn't tell me how the hell my Dad knows your place."

"I… uh… he must have seen it in a magazine or on the paper, you know…" He knew he shouldn't lie to her, but it was safer.

* * *

><p>"Yo, Becks!" Esposito called Beckett.<p>

"What?"

He gave her the look and she followed him.

"What?"

"The badge number you gave me?"

"Yeah?"

"It's Montgomery's. He reported it stolen in a kidnapping investigation."

"What else?"

"On the day your mother was killed."

"Are you sure?"

"Where the hell did you get this number?"

"It's Castle's badge number."

"You weren't kidding?"

"No…"

"And Gates gave him that badge…"

"Yep…"

"How the hell did she have this badge if it was reported stolen. How you suspected it?"

"My father recognized it… Montgomery showed it to him. Right here in this precinct."

"And how did Gates put her hands on it?"

"Dunno. What did you… about Castle's father?"

"He was CIA."

"What?"

"Yeah… Wanna know his name?"

"Of course!"

"Alexander."

"…and his last name?"

"The CIA never keep those kinds of information about their agents… you know that."

"I figured. Alexander… makes sense. Thanks, Javi. Keep it a secret."

"What makes sense? You're welcome."

She was gone before he said it.

* * *

><p>"Excuse me, sir, may I talk to you?"<p>

"Detective, I was expecting your visit."

"You were?"

"No, actually, I was expecting Castle's visit. But I know why you're here."

"You do?"

"Sit down. We have to have a long talk."

Beckett's heart was hammering her chest.

"What about, sir?"

"Your mother's murder, Detective. The whole reason you're here."

"What about it?"

"I like to keep track of my subordinates, know their history, their lives. That's how I found out about your mother's murder."

"And how did you got to Roy?"

"Montgomery was a friend of mine. He left a package here in this desk. Addressed to me. Inside of that package there was one for Castle."

"With the badge and the gun."

"Yes. And a letter for him."

"Where's it?"

"There was a letter for me as well, Detective. You may not have this letter. It's for Castle."

"So… you opened his package and I should expect you to respect the letter?"

"I read it."

"Sure you did."

"It was Montgomery's wishes to give Castle a shield, because he was a cop from his heart. And the gun was meant for protection."

"My protection."

"Yes. And that's all you need to know."

"But why Castle?"

"Really, Beckett?"

"What?"

"I heard he jumped in front of that bullet for you. Too late, but he did."

"Yes, so?"

"He was willing to give his life for you. That's why Roy chose him."

"And I'm supposed to trust you because…?"

"I'm on your side. You don't have any way to know that but to trust me."

"You did made Castle Detective…"

"If he's not on the precinct payroll he is not a cop. But he's here all the time, and working… and he is actually helpful sometimes… let's keep it as our dirty little secret."

"Fair enough."

"You don't have to trust me right away. Just know I'm on your side."

"Yes, sir."

"Now get the hell out of here. It's your day off."

Beckett left.


	20. It hit the fan

**Hi there! **

**I think this story is heading to its end. Maybe 5 ou 6 more chapters, I don't know. **

**Anyway... let me know what you're thinking so far ;)**

**Enjoy the reading...**

* * *

><p>As if the day could get any weirder, Beckett got a text from Lanie. Since she was already at the 12th, she went downstairs to meet her friend.<p>

"Hey, Lanie… what's up?"

"What you mean, what's up?"

"What?"

"Have you seen the paper today?"

"Oh, right! Dad said something about page six."

"Your father saw it?"

"Yes… he said he saw the papers, then the proposal on YouTube… and I still don't know how the hell it's on YouTube"

Lanie swallowed hard. Her finger was all over it: she demanded Ryan to film it but she never uploaded it to YouTube.

"What's wrong, Lanie?"

"So, you haven't seen the paper?"

"No…?"

"It's on my desk… let me grab it for you"

"Is it something I should worry about? Like, for real? I'm trying to not worry about this… I knew it would hit the paper eventually, but-"

Lanie handed Kate the paper.

"This is… oh my God! How the hell! Where the hell!"

"I guess it's an elevator camera, Kate."

"Obviously… Shit!"

"Is it yours or his?"

"None."

"Wait a sec… I knew I recognized this elevator! It's the precinct's!"

Kate looked away. That was embarrassing.

"Somebody's trying to get me fired."

"Looks like it. The video, the elevator camera…"

"I think it's Gates."

"What? Are you out of your mind, Kate Beckett?"

"I just got out of her office… she knows something... about my mom."

"Oh no, Kate… not again. Come on! You got the man of your dreams, the job you love. What else do you want? Let it go, girl."

"I'm not looking for it anymore, Lanie. I swear. It just popped into my life again. What I should do? Just ignore it?"

"YES!"

"I don't know if I can."

"Kate… you have to."

"I let it go, Lanie. I did. I put it to rest… for him. But I know until that man's locked away I know for sure this is gonna blow up on my face every now and then."

"When you're not looking…"

"Exactly!" She paused. "Oh. I got your point."

"What are you going to do, Kate?"

"I'm gonna see Dr. Burke."

"Hey! Found you…" He looked at what she had on her hands "Oh… you saw it."

"Hey, babe…" She kissed him like it was the first time in weeks.

"Wow! Did I miss something? I thought you were gonna kill me because of this picture."

"I probably will… later." She kissed him again. "Lanie, quit starring"

"Sorry, girl… can't do that."

"Lanie!"

"What did I miss? What happened down here?" Castle was confused.

"It's not about what's happened _here_, Castle" Kate thought he'd take the hint.

Lanie was sizing him up.

"Are you sure?" Lanie asked her friend.

"Lanie!" Kate giggled "Believe me, I'm _sure_…" She decided to size him up too, but she already knew his sizes. All of them.

"I'm… flattered?" Suddenly it hit him. Hard. "… embarrassed. That's the expression. I'm just… wait outside."

"Girl… you won the lottery. Twice."

"Lanie! Come on!"

"How much did you tell her?" He was just trying to know how embarrassed he should be.

"Enough." Kate didn't want to open that door again.

"Not enough" Lanie narrowed her eyes.

Kate gave her _the look_. Castle knew she told Lanie about it, but… _seriously_?

"Details were necessary. Lots of it." Kate tried to explain as she grabbed his hand and got out of there as fast as she could.

* * *

><p>"What was that all about?" Castle was trying to breathe normally.<p>

"I couldn't not tell her everything about our first night…"

"_Everything_?"

"Kinda… I mean, some parts are ours, exclusive, but I told her the essential… with as many details I could share without blush… that much."

"Oh… Oh! She was sizing me up!"

"I might have let it scape that you're really good at some things… very specific things." She looked like Alexis when he got the cell bill every month trying to not get into so much trouble.

"You're adorable, you know that?" He held her chin up and kissed her on the lips. "If you want to tell her _everything_, you can do that. It's better than lose a body part, anyway" He had this smirk on his face.

"That's true… so, you're not mad?"

"At you? With _this_ face? How could I?" He had this 'I'm in love with you' eyes. "Besides… I can't be mad if you're telling women about my… hmm… _assets_."

She smacked his arm "You're terrible!" She smiled.

"Not in bed, I'm not." He smirked.

"No, definitely not." She flushed.

The both of them got _those_ smirks on their faces. They needed to assure the paparazzi's job…

"I was thinking…" She licked her lips "Do you think Martha's at the loft right now?"

"Actually, I know for a fact that she isn't there right now… she's spending the weekend at a spa"

"So… no one's there?"

"Nope…" He pulled her to his arms "tell you what… you're going shopping right now."

"Rick, I don't think I need anything…"

"But I do." She knew his gaze.

"Ok… so, I'm shopping, for you, and then?"

"I'll go to the loft to get things ready… for you"

"I'll meet you back home?"

"Yes, you'll meet me back at home. And we're going to have dinner at a fancy restaurant"

"Hm… I like the sound of that…" She kissed his jaw.

"You do, don't you?"

"Uh-huh…"

"Well, after dinner we're going to enjoy my hot tub and my king-sized bed…"

"Hm… sounds tempting, but…"

"But what?"

"I'm off duty today."

"Yes, that's why…"

"You're not."

"Excuse me?"

"Aren't you a Detective now? Just like me?"

"Y-yes?"

"So… you're on duty."

"No!"

"Hm… so, you're a 'full' Detective when I'm on duty, and when I'm not…"

"I don't get a penny to do this job!"

"So? Does it make it any less worth of?"

"No, not at all… but, since I'm not actually _working_ for the city of New York, they can't hold it against me! I mean… I can only be a Detective under _your watch_, right? If you're responsible for _all_ my actions on duty…"

"And you're not upset?"

"What about? I have a badge, a gun and handcuffs to play with! Real ones!"

"About that…"

"Yes, I know… the best part is: you're responsible for what I do with them!"

"Castle, I'm serious… we didn't get a chance to talk about this yet…"

"What's to talk about?"

"Seriously?"

"Kate, come on! Why so serious?" He started kissing her neck moving towards her shoulder.

"Rick…"

"If I always have to save your ass, a badge and a gun are the minimum the city can do to thank me…"

"You? Saving my ass?"

"I'm keeping scores, remember? I definitely save your ass too many times for a civilian." He brushed his stubble on her neck and watched her goosebumps come and go.

"For a civilian I think you're ok"

"And for a cop… you have an amazing ass." He too loved to push her buttons.

"Drop my ass"

"I can't… I just love everything about your ass…" He said as he pulled her to a hot kiss.

"Can't say I don't feel the same…" She bit her bottom lip and went shopping for him.

* * *

><p>It had to be something special… he was dying to do this special night for them for ages now, so she decided to go along.<p>

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Oh yes, please! I need help. Lots of it"

"Are you looking for something special?"

"Yes, something very special, actually."

"Do you have any idea of what you're looking for?"

"I'd want something romantic but also mind-blowing… sexy but not slut… kinky but not smut. Something that covers skin, actually, but not that much. That show a lot but…"

"How much are you willing to spend?" The sales-girl was thinking it might be a real challenge to find that specific thing for the Detective.

"I believe this credit card has no limits" She had the revengeful smile she could form in her face.

He did give her his credit card to go shopping. She took it for him, because it would be something she'd buy for him to see and use on her, so it wasn't actually a gift for her (she kept saying that to herself trying to believe in it). And because… his face when she took it was _priceless_. He never thought she'd take it.

"Well, in that case I think we'll come up with something. Do you have color preferences?"

"Blow my mind" She smiled… that was awkward, even for her.

"Is it some special event?"

"Kinda… it's our one month anniversary. Of dating, not marriage."

"Oh… I saw the ring… I thought"

"Oh, this? No, no, no, no…"

"I'm sorry… I watched the proposal on YouTube, I thought…"

"Of course you did." She was wrong: _this_ was embarrassing. "What do you have for me?"

"I don't even know what to show you… Mr. Castle already bought everything in here for you in the past years…"

"What?"

"It wasn't for you? Oh my!"

"No… don't worry. Maybe it was for his mother or daughter."

"Oh no… Alexis buy's things for herself with her grandmother. Mr. Castle came here alone to choose and it was all your sizes."

Keeps getting weirder.

"Well… was there something he liked but didn't buy?"

"As the matter of a fact, there is."

"Let me see it then…"

"I'm sure he'll give you all the things he bought for you, miss Beckett"

"Don't worry about it…" She read her name's tag "Linda".

"Here… this piece he struggled with himself to buy, but he never did. He came over to buy it a hundred times, but never did. He wouldn't touch it either, was kinda creepy, in fact…"

"Yeah… that look I'm really aware of…" It was all she managed to say when she laid her eyes on that lingerie. "It's perfect!"

"He said the same thing. And… as it comes for the price… he'd say he'd give up his Ferrari immediately if he had to."

"Why? How much does it costs?"

The lady showed her the price.

"You're kidding, right? For lingerie?"

"Yes…"

"Well… and you're sure he liked this color?"

"He said it matched your eyes."

"I don't think I ever had this shade of green lingerie. Forget about it. I never had any shade of green lingerie. Sure he didn't like the black, the red or the white one? Oh! The pink one!"

"I'm sure. I didn't get it then but I do now. It does match your eyes."

"Thank you… I'll take this one then…"

"Sure… would you like to see anything else?"

"That's it for today."

"Sure… here."

"Thank you, Linda." Kate made a mental note to not be bothered, annoyed, embarrassed or invaded by his fame. For that she wasn't really prepared yet. But it was kinda cool and creepy at the same time.

And how the hell she end up in that store anyway? Oh yes… he was buying it.

* * *

><p>The loft was ready for her. For them.<p>

He was finishing spreading the rose petals from the front door to his bathroom. The hot tub was ready, the bed, everything.

It was gonna be the perfect night.

"I wonder what will she pick" He thought out loud.

His home's phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Castle."

"Mr. Smith."

"Yes. I thought I was clear, Mr. Castle. She couldn't go near her mother's case…"

"…or the deal is off, I know. She didn't…"

"The deal is off, Mr. Castle. They're after her."

"What? No!"

"Good luck, Mr. Castle. We did everything we could. It's up to you now."

The man hang up.

Kate was in danger.

["Kate, come to the loft ASAP"] He texted her. They have to have the talk.

* * *

><p>"Rick? Are you here?" She saw the petals on the floor. She was ready for action.<p>

"In here!" He yelled from his office.

"Are you okay?"

"We have to talk."

"What about?"

"Your mother's case."


	21. Creepy

"Whatever you're going to say, don't." Her voice was serious.

"Can't do that."

"Castle, it took me seven months in therapy to put it behind me… I can't go down this path again…"

"You have to. For me."

"Rick, I put it all behind for you!" Tears were starting to stream down her face.

"What if it costs your life? I can't let that happen to you again"

"Even if it costs my life… I can't put you through this again… I can't put myself through this again."

"If you really put it behind why are you still investigating your mother's murder, Kate?" His voice was sincere.

"What are you talking about?"

Now he was offended. He gave her a chance to come clean.

"I know you're still investigating her death and your shot, and I know that for a fact!"

"Castle! What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend you don't know it!"

"If you just stop being a jackass we can talk about it and sort things!"

"I'm a jackass? You keep lying to me so I think it makes me a fool, stupid for caring for you and your life!"

"I'm not lying to you! Castle, please!"

"I can't believe I bought that bull… of course you wouldn't stop looking for your sniper and you mother's killer." His heart was broken.

"I'm about to turn my back and never come back, Castle, so choose carefully your words."

"You'd do that?"

"I know you have an extraordinary imagination, Castle, I enjoy it a lot, I do, but this time you went too far!"

"Now I'm imagining things?"

"Are you telling me what's going on or what?"

"You're the one who should be telling me why would you promise me you'd let it go for a while and then kept looking into it behind my back!"

"Castle! First of all, I never promised it, I agreed to it-"

"And that just makes it ok?"

"Ok to what, Castle? Why don't you just say it?"

"Fine! I'm gonna say this since you're so sure of your innocence!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"I'm waiting, Castle. It's better be good."

"I know a guy-"

"Oh. My. God. Seriously?"

"What?"

"You know a guy? Castle! Come on!"

"Today I became aware you're still looking into your mother's murder"

"I'm not!"

"You are."

"Ok, fine… I'll tell you what happened."

"I knew it!"

"Shut up or I'm not telling you anything!"

"The hell you aren't!"

"When my father stopped by he saw your badge and he recognized it"

"What? What does it has to do with-"

"AND he told me it was Montgomery's Detective badge. He showed it to my father when I became Detective and calmed him down. He was absolutely sure that your badge was Roy's."

"But-"

"It wasn't his badge number, I knew it. So, I asked Esposito run your badge's number and see what he got"

"And?"

"And it was Roy's, actually..."

"How come?"

"This particular badge was reported stolen in a kidnapping case the day my mother got killed."

"But the badge is here"

"Yes… so, it left me with two possibilities: 1) He never lost the badge and was trying to provide an alibi for himself; and 2) Gates was the one who kept the badge to threaten him and she is somehow connected to my mother's death"

"And yet, here it is… If it provided him an alibi, or if it was her insurance…"

"It faked him an alibi"

"Why would he keep it? Why don't just destroy it? And if she's with the bad guys, why give me the badge knowing how close I am to you…"

"Why indeed…"

"So, was that all?"

"Nope."

He stared at her.

"I went to Gates' office today to try to understand how she got this badge in the first place"

"You've awoken the dragon!"

"What dragon?"

"What did she say?"

"That's where things got a little tricky."

"Tell me!"

"She said she found it in her office's drawer with a package addressed to her, with your badge, your gun and your cuffs and a letter to you. And another to her"

"A letter for me? He left his badge for me? Where's it?"

"She wouldn't give it to me. She said something about you being a cop from your heart so you deserved a badge. And it with the gun were supposed to allow you to protect me."

"Huh…"

"She said she's on our side"

"What's does it mean?"

"I don't know… but, really? I didn't buy it. I mean… she put you with a gun under my watch, then our picture almost doing it in the precinct's elevator… what if she released that photo? I mean… if you screw up, and with that picture, I'll lose my job in a heartbeat!"

"And you wouldn't be able to keep investigating as a civilian"

"Right."

"And she may've said she's on our side to keep track of what we actually know!"

"She might have been the one who tipped them off"

"Tipped whom off?" She was suspicious "I've proven my innocence, so why did you accuse me of going behind your back?"

He took a deep breath "When you put things like that…"

"Castle, stop stalling me!"

"Ok, fine! I was the one who kept looking into your mother's murder behind your back!"

"You what?"

"I did it because you couldn't! I have the resources to dig deeper and actually find things, and pay the price of silence"

"Why would you have to pay for someone's silence?"

"Because… after you got shot I received a phone call from a man, who said he owed Montgomery's his life, and he told me he put the dragon to sleep and it would last as long as you didn't look into your shot or your mother's murder anymore. He said you'd be safe if you didn't do it… and you did."

"I didn't! I stopped as soon as I discovered the stuff about Montgomery's badge!"

"But you've awoken the dragon… the man called again a few hours ago. He said the deal is off. You're not safe anymore." He had tears in his eyes.

She didn't care.

"And how did you accuse me of something like that? What if it was your investigation who tipped them of? What about it, huh? Money can't buy everything, Castle!"

"And you think it's coincidence that I got that call the day you spoke to Gates and looked into this badge's number?"

"No, it's not. I know it. And you know it."

"So… what now?"

"What now? Really? You went behind my back and did what you asked me not to do, meanwhile I was under therapy trying to fix myself, letting go of my mother's murder, which I did the day you came and found me at the cemetery, trying to figure out all your mixed signals about us, FOR YOU!"

"You're doing therapy yet? I thought you were cleared… that's why you got back to work"

"I… lied so I could get back to work. And then I came back to fix myself. For you. For me. For us!"

"All this time, you're-"

"Healing"

"For me?"

"Yes."

"Why? I mean… I fell in love with you just the way you were…"

"Are you trying to say I didn't have to go through that to be with you?"

"I don't know… I mean… I love you being so open with me, but I don't like being the reason of your letting it go"

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to regret it and blame me! I wouldn't survive losing you! Just like now I'm here desperate to fix this situation to keep you safe!"

"I wouldn't let it go if I didn't want to, Rick. But I did it for you… because you deserved a better me. A whole me."

"You wanna know what I found out 'bout your mom's case?"

"No, I don't."

"But-"

"I worked my way through this, Rick…"

"I'm keeping it safe, then. Just in case."

"This man…"

"Mr. Smith"

She raised an eyebrow.

"He said I should call him that way."

"Fine… do you have his number, or someway to contact him?"

"Actually… I do. Why?"

"Let's set up a meeting with him."

"What for?"

"I don't wanna die and sure as hell I don't want anything to happen with my new family"

"Family?"

"Dummy, of course you're my family now!"

"You're not leaving me?"

"Why would I leave you?"

"Because I went behind your back…"

"Rick, I can think of a punishment that will do the –"

He kissed her catching her off guard.

"Thank you"

"Thank me? What for?"

"For sticking with me"

"Always"

Their eyes were having sex again.

"Do I need to know anything else?"

"I lied to you."

She took a deep breath. There's nothing like a relationship…

"What about?"

"Meredith."

"What?"

"She cheated on me. She didn't leave for a job in LA… She ran away with-"

"I don't care. I'd never do that to you… forget about it, Rick. I'm here now."

He buried her in his chest under his arms not wanting to let go.

"Babe…" She whispered.

"I can't get enough of that, you know…"

She chuckled "I have something to talk to you about."

"What is it?" he had a peaceful smile on his face.

"I'm trying to find your father."

"Come again?"

"I pulled some favors and followed some leads… I have a name and a _job_"

"Why would you do that?"

"Find your father?"

"Yes"

"Well… that day when Sophia said that… you were-"

"It was just a flying thing…"

"It didn't seem like it"

"I don't think I wanna know anything about him"

"Why's that?"

"Because… if I don't know anything about him…"

"He can be anything you want him to be"

"Yes… How-How do you know that?"

"I know you… that's enough for me."

"Do you have a name?"

"The first one…"

"And a job?"

"uh-huh"

"You think I'd like to know that?"

"I think you'd be impossible to put up with if you knew it."

"Really? Huh… that's a shame then."

"You don't wanna know?"

"Nope… let's make a deal, huh?"

"What?"

"When we catch the responsible for your shot and your mother's death you can tell me who my father is."

"Deal" She smiled. He was loyal to her even if it involved a question that pursued him all his life.

He really didn't have to explain why, she knew it.

"So… what a pair, huh?"

"Pair?"

"Us"

"Why?"

"I inspired you to be a police Detective, the New York finest, with my books and then you-"

"Inspired you to write your books."

They shared a loving kiss.

"I'm glad you're not actually a cop, you know…"

"Why's that?"

"You wouldn't be able to pay your credit card bill if you were…"

His eyes widened.

"Seriously… You'd have to work for a year to pay for this" She unzipped her dress.

"This?" His eyes were following her moves and then the offending fabric slid to the ground.

"Yes… this."

"Ho-How did you know?"

"Let's say that Linda was very helpful…"

"Linda, huh?" His fingers were burning to touch her skin.

"Uh-huh… and you know what I found out today?"

"That I didn't pay enough for this lingerie"

"What about the others? They were worth it?"

"Oh"

"Oh? That's all you're going with?"

"I-I… I bought you lingerie, what's the big deal?"

"Huh… I dunno… maybe because I never got any of them…?"

"You'd have shot me if I gave you one of them!"

"So why did you buy it?"

"Because I liked to imagine how would you look in these… to help me write Nikki Heat's books… and to help me survive shadowing you everyday"

"Survive?"

"You're such a tease…"

He took her hand and went to his bedroom.

"Here… I bought it all for you."

She was stunned "All of this?"

"Yes… I know you'd not accept any of it as a gift or anything… so I just stored it in here."

"That's creepy!"

He smile died in that same sec.

"They're gorgeous!"

She went through the dresses, the shoes… the boots. She opened a drawer and found a ton of lingerie. All kinds and colors of it. She saw a jewelry box.

"It's for you. Every time I saw something that made me remember you I bought it."

"Rick…"

"It's ok if you don't want to keep anything at all… I know I shouldn't have done this… but it helped me."

"I guess I don't need to bring anything, do I?"

"Bring?"

"Well… maybe my signed books, photos and… myself."

"You're...?"

"If you let me, yes…"

"Dressed like this if you asked me the moon I'd get it for you…"

"Rick… you've… you made room for me in your life all these years…"

"This is your home too."

"Then I think we're moving in with your mother."

He laughed…

"That's right... I already moved in with you"

"How did you know what to buy? I mean…"

"You're not mad?"

"It's still creepy… and kinda sweet."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I didn't want to… I don't know…"

"Rub your money on my face?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's do this… I'm moving in with you, but we'll share all the bills, _but_ your credit card's"

"That's fair" he chuckled "But you don't have to"

"I know."

"But you will anyway"

"Yes, I will."

"It's fine with me"

"You can touch me now."

She was already in his life every day for so many years…

He let it go, he moved in with her… it didn't bothered him at all. She knew that being a part of his life involved being watched by everyone and she was willing to make that sacrifice for him. And the clothes weren't so bad either.

Still creepy.

And sweet.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't panic... I'm not off my game.<strong>

**He'll pay for this.**


	22. Kate's Cheating

**I'm missing them... like Castle and Beckett. I think now we're going there... again.**

**Oh, and now he does have a gun to play with Beckett! :D**

**Things will get more interesting.**

**They were kind of boring me... and I did that myself. :S**

**It would be nice to know what you're thinking.**

**Enjoy your reading!**

* * *

><p>His fingers were itching to touch her smooth skin and she just gave him the green light to do it.<p>

"Hey Kiddos!" Martha's voice was always the killjoy.

"Tell me this isn't happening" He took a deep breath "See why I moved in with you? _Privacy_"

"She's your mom, Castle! You should be grateful for having her"

"Have you met my mother yet?"

"Oh, Rick, really? She's a bit eccentric, that's all"

"humpf"

"What was that?"

"I said nothing!"

She took a dress from her new wardrobe and put it on. "Come on…"

"Do we really have to go?"

She rolled her eyes and headed to the kitchen.

"I'm going there, you don't have to…" She felt heavy with all that happened.

"I'm gonna go take a shower first…" He saw her expression "A cold one."

Still nothing.

* * *

><p>"Hey Martha!" Kate smiled.<p>

"My dear! I didn't know you were coming here tonight, I would've cooked dinner"

"Oh, no… you don't have to go through any trouble"

"And taking for the rose petals on the floor, I wasn't on the menu for tonight"

"Something like that" Her eyes were sad and her mouth was smiling.

"That's a lovely dress"

"Oh, thank you… Cas-Rick bought me this" She said. "And a whole new wardrobe as well"

"So… he showed it to you."

"yeah…"

"You don't sound so happy about it"

"Oh, it's not that I don't like it… it's beyond-"

"You shouldn't think too much about it. It's just clothes, darling"

"Yeah, but… it's too expensive!"

"So what? He can pay for all of that"

"But I can't"

"And it bothers you?"

"Kinda" It was an awkward conversation. "I don't want him to think that I'm with him because of his money"

"He wouldn't. Never. But-"

"There's always a 'but'"

"But he has lots of it."

"I know…"

"It's the price you have to pay to have him."

"The paparazzi, page six, dinners, book tours, fans, parties?"

"Yes, all of that… and… presents. Tons of presents."

Kate laughed. "Presents?"

"Oh dear… live a little. Besides-"

"Mother, I can't believe you're trying to convince her into being _you_" Rick said as he approached the girls.

"Oh, Richard… don't be ridiculous!" Martha smiled.

"If it bothers you that much, you don't have to keep any of it, Kate… It's fine" Richard repeated what he said before.

"Oh, it doesn't bothers me… it's love at first sight, actually" She giggled "I'm not used to it, that's all" She fisted his shirt and kissed him.

"Love at first sight? Should I be jealous or something?" He smiled.

"Oh, those dimples…" She whispered and kissed all four of them.

"Well, you'll get used to it." He thought it through "Not too used, I hope"

The women laughed.

"Nonsense! This is the kind of thing you get used to in a heartbeat!" Martha announced "Believe me, kiddos, I know" She smiled.

"Then you should be happy to know that I'm moving back home, Mother" He looked at Kate and then his mother.

"So soon? It's only been a week!"

"Yeah… actually, we're both moving back. I mean… He's moving back and I'm coming with him" Awkward.

"Oh, I see… What happened to the dating-engaged thing?"

"You're right…" She realized "We should take it slow… but-"

"But?" Mother and son said together.

"Damn, I already got used to that wardrobe and to your _non-limited_ credit card" She had an evil grin.

"_Haha_… funny you." He stared at her "You're not kidding, are you?"

"No, I'm not." She kissed him again.

"And when are you moving in?" Martha asked.

"I-uh…" Kate simply didn't know.

"How about this weekend? Mother is going _back_ to the spa"

"Castle!"

"It's fine, darling… I just came back to get some black-tie dresses. I'll be gone 'til Wednesday, don't worry."

"Of course you are, mother…" Castle took a deep breath. Good, it was good.

"Maybe Thursday… well, don't wait up, kiddos!" And Martha left.

* * *

><p>"So…" Rick put his arms around Kate's waist.<p>

"So…?" Kate was avoiding the question.

"You didn't mean it, did you?"

"No, babe, it's not it… I meant it. I do want to live with you-"

He stared at her.

"-but we already live together… even though we agreed we weren't doing that anytime soon."

He didn't say a word.

"So, basically you're saying I shouldn't have moved in with you" He stepped back.

"No! No! Babe, look at me!" She cupped his jaw with both hands and held his face.

"What, Kate?"

"I love that you moved in with me. I love coming home and finding you all over the couch, your underwear on the bedroom's floor; I love the way you're pissed when you trip on my clothes every morning and every evening; I love the way you curse my high-heels when you come home and step on them; I love when you steal the blankets and I have to tug on you or pull them back if I want to warm myself; I love your snore, can't sleep without it anymore; I love the mess you do on the bathroom's sink pushing away my make up so you can reach your stuff; I love that there's food in the fridge when you're home; I love the way you're annoyed when I leave the toothpaste opened and the dishes pile up; I love the way you fold my clothes so you can actually find yours-"

He kissed her.

"What was that for?" She smiled still on his lips.

He hugged her tight.

"I want to move in with you, I do. I really do. We have to box all my stuff and find room for my furniture…"

"You're keeping your furniture?"

"A few things, yes… I'd like to. Is that a problem?"

"No, no… not at all." He looked around "Something special?"

"Actually, yes… the couch you love so much, you know? It was my mom's office's couch. And there's my dressing-table, which was also my mom's… and her office's desk too."

"We can make room for all of that" He smiled.

"Sure?"

"For you? Always."

"And, of course… we'll have to make some changes around here" She poked him.

"What's wrong with my stuff?"

"It's too manly… needs a woman's touch." She whispered in his ear.

"I'm manly"

"You're kidding, right?"

"What?"

"You waste more time in the bathroom to get ready than I do!"

"So what?"

"You're so metrosexual, Castle!"

"You like it."

"Very much" she kissed him.

"What would you change around here?"

"Oh, nothing… just our room. It's too manly."

"Our room? I like the sound of that. But I never asked you to change your room..."

"Point taken."

"Do you want to change anything, really?"

"No, babe… it's perfect the way it is." She kissed him. "I have to go, I'll be back home for tonight, 'kay?"

"Home?"

"Yes. You can start packing if you want to."

"Where you're going?"

"Drinks with Lanie"

"Again?"

She gave him the look.

"Never mind. Have fun!" He said quickly.

* * *

><p>"Wow! New clothes?" Lanie's jaw dropped.<p>

"Yeah…"

"Girl, you won the lottery or something?"

"Yes, I did. Twice, according to you."

"Castle gave you these?" She pointed to her new boots, her new leather coat, her new jeans and her new bluse.

"Yep"

"All of these?"

"Yep."

"When?"

"According to him, the boots he bought after the tiger case, he said next time he would appreciate if I were wearing zipper-boots; the coat is from last year, the blouse and jeans from two years before and the lingerie are from 3 years ago."

"What?"

"Creepy, I know"

"Creepy? He bought you clothes all these years?"

"Apparently he likes to buy gifts"

"I can see that."

"Yeah… he bought me a whole new wardrobe. I never had that many clothes!"

"Oh my god! He didn't!"

"He did."

"And he's alive?"

"For now"

"What's wrong?"

"It's about my mom-"

"Don't! I mean it, girl… you found a man who loves you with that temper of yours, who likes to buy you gifts; that kind of gifts-"

"You're saying that because you didn't saw the shoes, the dresses and the jewelry"

"He bought you jewelry?"

"Yep."

"And why are you even thinking about your mother's murder?"

She shouldn't involve anybody else. But this was Lanie, so she could talk to her. And so she did.

"Girl, that's a lot to take in… you're not mad at him?"

"Lanie, I am… I am pretty mad"

"Well, he lied to you… you have the right to be angry"

"No! I'm not mad at that… I mean, I should be the last one to be mad about that, right?" She finished her drink "I'm mad that when I finally put it all behind me, it hits me again on my face. Hard."

"Kate… if Gates' involved and Castle"

"Wait. What if it is the connection?"

"What connection?"

"Well… if Castle was looking into those cases, and Gates found out, if she's on our side, wouldn't it be a tip on where to look for leads? She gave the badge to _Castle_. He should be the one to find out what I found out" She paused "I feel like I'm cheating on him".

"With me? Girl, I could do you, _you know that_, it's only not my _thing_"

Kate laughed "Not that… building theories. I used to do it _with him_."

"And why aren't you?"

"Why indeed"

"Kate, go home. He's your partner in life, in crime and in whatever you get into."

"I guess you're right, Lanie."

"Go now before I smack you!"

* * *

><p>"Hey! I wasn't expecting you to be back 'til after midnight"<p>

"Yeah, me neither."

"What happened?"

"I don't want to cheat on you anymore-"

"Cheat on me? After what I told you yesterday about Meredith, you _cheated_ on me?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You just said to my face that you were sleeping with another guy! Was that why you didn't want to move in with me this weekend?"

She laughed.

"And you're laughing on my face now?"

She fisted his shirt and pinned him to the wall.

"You sure as hell have a wild imagination, you know that?" She went to kiss him and he avoided her mouth.

She held him by his chin and kissed him on his mouth.

"Don't you ever avoid another kiss from me, did you hear that?" She was serious "I was saying that I don't want to cheat on you anymore-" he tried to free himself and she pinned him again, with no delicacy "-building theories with Lanie instead of you, dummy ass!"

He looked into her eyes.

She was telling him the truth. He saw the love.

"Building theories about what?"

""bout my mom's case."

"Your mom's case?"

"I was thinking… what if Gates' on our side, for real, and she gave you the badge because she knew-"

"-I was investigating your mother's murder and she was giving me a lead?"

"Yeah. She was trying to help us."

"But if she was, why took her so long to give me the badge, and why hide the letter?"

"She didn't hide it; she told me that it existed."

"Still… she should've given that to me, the badge and stuff, when she found it. It took her 11 months to do it"

"What if she was waiting to see if she could trust you with all of this"

"Or just punish me because of the mayor"

"Or that…" She laughed.

"I have to talk to her."

"Tomorrow morning. Tonight we have some unfinished business…"

"Are you wearing the green lingerie beneath these clothes?"

"Sorry to disappoint… it's the red one."

"The r-red one? With th-the-"

"Yes, that one." She took his hand and placed it under her blouse.

"Oh… this is the blue one."

"How did you know?" Her jaw dropped.

"I played enough with your new lingerie, alone of course, to know each one of them just by touching it."

"So I can see… killjoy."

"What? What about my prize?"

"You ruined the surprise. No prize for you today."

"But-"

"No buts"

"What about butts?"

She gave him the look.

She turned off the lights and then she heard a noise. A loud noise.

"Damn it!" He gasped

"You okay?"

"Fuck, Kate!"

She turned the lights on.

He tripped on her clothes. Again.

"Sorry?" She was in trouble.


	23. Who are you?

**I published this new fic, "Delight", a week ago and it begins between the 18th and 19th chapters of this fic. It's rated M and it's about the first night they make love. If you want you can go and read it.**

**I'm sorry about the delay...writer's blockage, I guess. Anyway...**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>In one night everything is fine, everything is ok.<p>

The next morning someone got killed.

Someone who shouldn't be dead.

They arrived at the crime scene trying to get Beckett to admit that Castle was a homicide Detective now.

Castle wasn't there. His first case as a homicide Detective and he wasn't there. He said he would come by the precinct later because Alexis was going to Skype him that morning. She was away, taking pre-med classes at Stanford. She'd go to Harvard eventually, everybody knew it.

The victim was male, Caucasian, in his 60's. His place has been trashed.

"Guess the assailant didn't found what he was looking for." Ryan guessed.

The victim was badly beaten, fingers broken, legs broken.

"His knees were shot" Lanie was impressed "His arms twisted 'til they broke in 3 parts each. This was torture."

"Whatever this guy knew, he took it to the grave with him." Esposito stated.

"We don't know that, guys… he may have given the information to whoever was asking for"

"After been beaten up this bad? I wouldn't say a word."

"Right? Just out of spite." Ryan agreed.

"Spite? No. I'd keep it to myself to make sure he'd kill me. Both knees shot? Arms twisted? You don't want to be alive after that" Esposito stated.

Everybody looked at him serious. He was a sniper; he had seen things they could never dream of.

"Well… Lanie, do you think you can get prints from his arms? If the killer twisted it, without gloves, we should be able to get some prints, right?"

"That's my girl" Lanie winked "Talking about my girl… where's writer-boy?"

The boys looked at her.

"He's Skyping with Alexis" She blushed. She wasn't used to know so much about his routine.

"Well… I'll take the body to the morgue and I'll let you know what I find"

"Great. Thanks, Lanie"

"Ryan, Espo… see if you guys can find an ID, the place's owner or anything."

She left them and went to the precinct to start their murder board. Nothing else she could do before they get more information on the dead guy.

* * *

><p>Castle arrived at the 12th and went straight to Gates' office. They had a lot to talk about.<p>

"Detective Castle, what can I do for you?"

"Beckett told me you have a letter-"

"There's no letter"

"But-"

"Sit, we have to talk."

He took a seat and tried to stay calm.

"When Roy Montgomery died, the IA sent me here to investigate. Not only the circumstances were odd, but he had no business on that hangar or with anybody else who was killed there that day. They were all under investigation."

"All? Montgomery too?"

"Montgomery was the one under investigation. The others came along within days before his murder."

"Why Montgomery?"

"You know why. Because of his connection to Johanna Beckett's murder."

No one was supposed to know about that.

"The IA knew about it all these years?" Castle was shocked. If they knew, why didn't they do something about it?

"Yes, we did."

"We? You're still-"

"Yes, I'm here to investigate whatever happened that day. Why he died and why Beckett was shot at his funeral"

"What about the dirty cops who were involved, huh? What about them! They're free! They're after her!"

"The cops who worked with Montgomery are all dead, Mr. Castle."

"But… then, who is behind all of this?"

"We're so close to catch him, Mr. Castle, but we need your help."

"My help? She's out there about being killed! Wait a second… why did you tell her there was a letter?"

"Because she can't know. Not yet. Recently I became aware of your underground investigation. I didn't know how to catch your attention without Beckett suspecting anything. I gave you that badge because I knew you were investigating."

"How did you get it?"

"An informant gave it to the IA with proof of his involvement in several corruption cases"

"Why me? Why now?"

"Because recently we became aware that Roy Montgomery is alive."

"How do you know it? I saw him! I was there at his funeral when Kate got shot!"

"And who do you think that shot her?"

"How?"

"Make yourself comfortable, Mr. Castle. The story I'm about to tell you will explain everything."

* * *

><p>An hour later he found her at the murder board.<p>

"Hey" Rick kissed her on the corner of her mouth.

"Hey you!" No one there to bug them, so it was ok.

"So… who's our victim?"

"John Doe. All we have is a picture"

"No body?"

"Oh, we have a body, but we don't have an ID"

"Where's the picture?"

"Of the body?"

"No… of the guy."

"Oh, it's in the file over there. Can you get it for me?"

"Sure"

He opened the file and he felt his blood leave his body. He was going to faint.

"Castle? Castle?"

He was hypnotized by the picture. It was dark that day but he could tell it was the same person.

She slapped him and he woke up from his hypnosis.

"What's wrong?" Her voice was soft and understanding.

"This guy… your John Doe…"

"What about him?"

"It's Mr. Smith. He's the guy who was making sure you stay alive, Kate."

"Castle, are you sure?"

"I'm positive. How did he die?"

"He was beaten up, tortured and then shot in the head. Why?"

"They're coming for you"

She thought she'd faint.

Lanie called. "Girl, you better get your ass down here"

"We'll be right there." She looked at Castle "It's going to be ok. Lanie's calling us. She's got something"

* * *

><p>"Hey" They said together.<p>

"What's wrong with you two?"

"Nothing" They said together again.

"Both of you… spill. You two are looking like ghosts and I didn't even told you what I found"

"What did you find?" Kate was trying to stay calm.

"I was able to extract one bullet fragment from his left knee. The killer extracted the bullets after the murder, but he forgot this one piece."

"So…?"

"So… this piece contains a partial print. He must have charged the gun without gloves"

"Why would someone charge a weapon with gloves?" Castle asked.

"Because of the oil, the thing that leaves the fingerprints like _prints_, when the bullet is fired this oil burns and it turns into something like a tattoo." Lanie explained it to him as simply as she could.

"Did you run it yet?" Beckett was impatient.

"I'm about to."

"Ok… anything else?"

"Actually, yes…"

"What?"

"His prints."

"Do you have an ID?"

"Your guy was a former cop."

"A cop?"

"Yep."

"Beckett, I told you… it's him!" Castle whispered.

"And who would that be?" Lanie overheard.

"He's the guy who was keeping Kate from being _killed_ by her mother's murderer."

"What?"

"Castle, that's enough!" Kate was already emotionally involved, she couldn't think straight.

She was going there again… that dark place. She promised him she wouldn't go there again. Why the hell these things keep blowing up on her face? Like everything she's been through wasn't enough.

"What's his name, Lanie?" Kate was giving Castle the 'shut up' look.

"It's John Smith"

"Smith?" Castle and Beckett said it together.

"That's so cool! His name it's totally neutral… like if he said his own name it would be like it was an alias!"

"Castle, this is serious. A former cop was tortured-"

"And I bet it's related to your mother's murder, Kate" He was serious too.

"Well, we don't know that yet"

"Do you think I'd lie 'bout this?"

"That's not it, Rick!"

"The hell it isn't! If you don't wanna know, that's your problem, Kate! It doesn't change the facts or the truth!" And he stormed out of the morgue.

"What was that all about?" Lanie asked.

"He's sensitive about this subject."

"Can't blame the guy for that one"

"Yep…"

"What happened?"

"We kind of agreed that we'd put this to rest. I didn't wanna see what he found out about my mom's case and stuff."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"I guess. But it keeps finding me, Lanie… and I don't want to go there again, but I know I will eventually."

"I'm sorry, girl… how are you two doing like a couple?"

Kate knew she couldn't avoid the question "He…" How would she say it out loud? "He grounded me last night"

Lanie laughed so hard that she was about to cry.

"It's not funny, Lanie!" She was laughing herself.

"Tell me it's about your nasty piggy habits, please"

Kate blushed "Ok, just so you know… he tripped on my clothes last night and-"

"He fell?"

"Oh, yes… yes he did! He was so pissed, Lanie… I was worried but I couldn't stop laughing afterwards so he grounded me."

"Girl, I told you… you're a big girl to be piggy."

"Lanie. Seriously. I'm not piggy! I just don't really care about cleaning the apartment because when I'm there it means that there's no body, and we know it _won't last_, so I don't care if my clothes are on the floor or if my closet it trashed. _Eventually_ I clean up."

"Ok, girl… but the dishes"

"I hate doing the dishes! That's why I order in! No dishes to be done"

"He grounded you?"

"Yes, he did."

"I'm waiting"

"I'm supposed to do the dishes and fold my clothes every day for a week." She felt like a child but had a really big smirk.

"And you let him do it?"

"I grounded him for grounding me"

"You two are unbelievable."

"Tell me about it"

"You're not really grounded, right?"

"It's fun. He's so fun to be with…" she blushed "I should probably go after him"

"We don't want him to fire that gun just because you pissed him of, do we?"

Kate's eyes widened "Oh shit!"

She stormed out of there after him and Lanie bursted into laughing.

* * *

><p>"Hey…" She sat beside him just outside the building.<p>

"Hey" He looked calmer.

"So… do you wanna talk about it?"

"I'm sorry, Kate, I really am, but you'll ruin everything. Don't go nowhere near this case, Kate."

"Castle, you said they were coming after me before he got murdered. Nothing changed, really."

"Yes, Kate. Everything changed." Gates made him promise to keep it a secret.

"What changed?"

He softened his voice "I'm here now"

"I know…"

"So, why were you on a hurry?"

"Well… if you must know" She smiled "I was afraid you'd do something stupid with that gun of yours"

"But you put festim bullets in it-"

"How do you know about that?"

He raised his eyebrow.

"Ok… so, I just wanted you to know that I'll excuse myself from this case."

"Kate, you don't have to-" He thought about it. He just said she should do it... what the hell? He was never going to be sound again.

"I know… but I will anyway"

"You're still grounded"

"And so are you" She narrowed her eyes at him.

They smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think...<strong>

**There are two more chapters to go and it's done.**


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